Fix You {Harry Styles}

Chapter Eleven: I'm Sorry

Chapte Eleven: I'm Sorry

Alison's POV

I took off my jacket as Jade began brushing out my hair.  To be honest, I had a lot of fun with Harry. He was so sweet and... charming? No, I can't think of him like that. There is nothing between us, and there never will be.

My face was hot and sticky from the tears, ugh. I stuck my hands under the faucet and rubbed at them.

"So, you wanna tell me anything? How was he?" She asked very calmly, I could tell she was careful with her words, everyone has been like that around me. I'm not sure why.

"Well, it was great until we got stuck at the very top of the ferris wheel and then.... he kissed me." I said the last part a lot softer than the rest, I didn't really want to talk about it. I had never kissed anyone before that and it shocked me.

"Ali! What? Harry Styles kissed you!?"

"Yes. But don't make a big deal of it, it was awful."

"Awful? He's a bad kisser?"

"No, I just.. I just didn't kiss him back and when he pulled away he was like, 'You're supposed to kiss me back' but I was so stunned, I couldn't! I'm so dumb! And even if I would have kissed him back, it would have been terrible. Just terrible, I know it." I looked at Jade behind me, through the mirror.

I had been blabbing on, and I just now noticed the expression on her face. Hurt. Then I realized what she was looking at.. My wrists. The scars. Her eyes wide with horror - and hurt. I moved my hands out of the sink and held them at my sides.

"Ali.." Jade whispered, her voice weak.

I never told her about my self-harming, because I didn't want her to worry. It was the one thing that made me feel better about everything. I deserved the pain, I was the reason mom left. I was- I am a screw up. I couldn't tell her, because I knew she would be upset, just like she is now.

"I-I..."

She cut me off, "No... How could you do this? You don't deserve that.. Ali, why?" Tears were pouring down her face. She took a step towards me, reaching for my arms but I just hid them behind myself. I can't let her see how many there were.. Way too many to count.

To be honest, I was ashamed of them. 

 "I'm sorry Jade... I didn't know what else to do. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I should be sorry! I let you do this to yourself, I'm sorry okay? I didn't know.. I should've known."

"No. Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault.. It's- It's his." Now, she was right in front of me, holding my arms in her hands, just looking at the scars.

"Don't ever do this again, you understand? I can't lose you Ali. You're my best friend. I don't want anything to happen to you. Just please don't do it anymore."

"It was just a stress reliever, and know that he's gone, I don't have a reason anymore.. I'm really sorry Jade."

She pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug. I didn't mind though, I was the reason she was so upset.  The least I could do was let her cry all over me.

Somehow, I managed to make two people cry over me today. Not one, but two. Wow, Ali, you are a great person. Not. 

 ~~

The rest of the night we spent talking about the date and laughing. We had put everything behind us, and I was so glad.

My phone buzzed, signalling I had recieved a text. 

From: Manwhore
We are going bowling this week, wanna come with? :) .xx

Yeah, I should probably change his contact name.. How awkward would it be if he saw that? 

"Oh yeah! Jade, I forgot to tell you something.."

"What? What is it?!"

"Harry invited me to hang out with him and the boys later this week, and he said I could bring you if I wanted to, which I do.. So will you come with me?"

"What? Oh my God! Yes!"

"Okay good, we are going bowling. Just let me text him back."

To: Harry
Deal, and Jade said yes (:

From: Harry
Great! We'll pick you up around 5, okay? See you soon .xx

To: Harry
Sounds good! Bye Harry.

From: Harry
Goodbye, love ;)

To: Harry
It wasn't funny a few hours ago and guess what, it still isn't funny.

"They are going to pick us up at 5. But I'm tired now, sleepover?"

"Yes, of course!" She laughed and followed me to my room. I jumped into the bed, face first.  

Today has been stressful, and different. Not every day do you make a male popstar - and your best friend - cry over you.. 

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I cried while writing this chapter... Well, I hope you enjoyed it! I'm not even going to ask you to vote or comment because you don't do it anyway. Okay, well thanks for reading and I still love you! (: 

-Chelsea.

Ali has finally warmed up to Harry, yay(:

I wonder how bowling is going to go.....? (; You'll just have to wait and see..