Fix You {Harry Styles}

Chapter Thirty-Five: Recovery

Chapter Thirty-Five: Recovery

Alison's POV

It's been four days since I got back to London, and everyone is still baby-ing me. I can't even go to the bathroom without someone offering to stand outside the door in case if I get 'hurt'. But seriously, how the hell am I going to hurt myself by going to the toilet?! 

Although I appreciate how concerned and caring they are towards me, it'd be nice to be alone every once in a while. I'm extremely stressed out, I haven't been sleeping much. I'm too worried that I'll dream about him. That I won't be able to get away from him because he can haunt me in my sleep.

He took over my life, and all I want is to gain control over it again.

Jade has been force-feeding me, even if I'm about to throw up, just because I'm thinner than before. And I occasionally forget to eat, but hey, it's not my fault - it's what I've gotten used to. It's what I guess you could call, a habit?

It takes every ounce of my well-being to not blow up on them, I mean they're only trying to help; but one can only take so much 'helping'.

I was browsing through some website that was supposed to help me find a job, but none stood out to me. I don't even know what I want to be. 

Maybe, someone who helps people like me. Someone who encourages kids to push through when times get rough. Yeah, like that. So, would that be a.. therapist? That would take some schooling though. 

I groaned in frustration before shutting my laptop and getting out of the plush black chair. I'll have to think about this more later.

I debated on what I should do, seeing as I was still trapped in the boys' flat until Jade got off work. She refuses to let me stay home alone and claims that 'by staying here I can catch up with my friends'. Yeah, like they want to hear anymore about what I've been doing.

Just as I was walking into the kitchen, I heard hushed voices. It sounded like Louis.. and Harry maybe?

"Harry, it was awful. The worst thing I've ever seen in my life."

"What exactly happened? What did you see?"

"We were in a closet, and she was just standing there while he punched her repeatedly. She didn't even cry. I can't imagine how many times that's happened before."

They were talking about me. About what had happened. I didn't want to listen to what they were saying, but I couldn't stop myself.

"You didn't even help her? You just stood there while he hit her? How could you do that Lou?"

"I tried getting out to help, but Jade said he would only harm us and her more."

"This is so frustrating. I feel horrible. I know she doesn't want me to blame myself, but I just can't help but feel like I'm at fault."

"I don't know what to do, because I don't want to upset her, but I don't want to just leave her alone all the time. Like, I'm not sure if I can joke around and stuff while she's here. What if she gets upset?"

This is too much. I can't just sit here while they say things like that. So, I interrupted them.

"Harry, I already told you not to blame yourself, you couldn't do anything about it. And you guys need to stop treating me like I'm a child. I can take care of myself, I don't need people waiting on me hand and foot. I just want things to be normal again. Louis, I would love it if you joked around and teased me again, but instead everyone is acting as if I'll break if you say anything to me. I don't want you to treat me like that. I just want you guys to be here when I need you and just be your normal selves. Okay?" I took a deep breath, trying to hold in the tears threatening to spill. I can't believe I just said all of that.