Last July

Chapter ten

Release:// to allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free.

“He’s such an asshole and you need to stop holing yourself up like this”

Phillisa was my best friend and the one person that I could count on whatever the obstacle, but right now I didn’t want to not “hole myself up”. I wanted to be able to get over things naturally with time and not force myself to be happy. Of course that would be like hoping that a river would change its natural direction and stop flooding an area without first giving it an alternate course. I sat with her momentarily after pouring her, her coffee and placing a small treat before her which at my expense she was happily eating away at.

This was the second time that we were speaking of this an maybe she was right, I sighed knowingly. My phone started to vibrate and my mind went black seeing my mother’s I.D. shit! My mother was what you would call a proper lady. She was the manager of a bank and was married to my loving father, now her ex-husband and was the mother of three lovely children; myself being the last of the lot. We had a simple relationship compared with the radiant one she had with my other two siblings. I was well, the odd one out of the bunch and in her eyes I went out of her way to fail her expectations miserably every time. That’s only because she had preconceived notions of how and what our lives should be like when we got older and I liked stepping into the unknown. She hated that. Mother was all about order and time, everything having its place and perfect. I was wild, I loved order but it would drive me crazy to stick everything into small boxes. My desk was filled with sticky notes everywhere and crushed paper across, under and over my chair that was just how my space worked. Order within that vicinity drove me crazy because that’s where the magic happened and my mind was anything but orderly when it came to writing.

“Mom” I said answering trying to make my voice cheerful.

“Kenzy” I heard the disappointment already. “where are you dear?” papers shifted around and I knew she was sitting at her desk. I checked my watch 12:30. Lunch time and like clockwork I was going to be in for our mother daughter ten minute talk.

“I’m at work” I replied glancing over at philly.

“At the coffee shop?”

“Yeah. If I was writing you wouldn’t have gotten to me you know that mom”

“Right, right” I imagined her bobbing her neatly combed head up and down. “I heard what happened from khole”

Yep here it is. I swiped a wad of frosting from philly’s pastry and placed the finger into my mouth to keep myself from talking. A technique I had developed in dealing with my mom.I

“While I am sorry about the little girl’s death honey I already told you that guy just wasn’t the right one and now he’s proven it. Leaving like that right after she dies, but that’s nothing to concern yourself over. Are you eating? I know how you get when that mind of yours goes on a wild adventure”

“Mhm”

“Great” I heard her take a sigh, I knew she hadn’t taken anything I said to heart, that’s just mom. “what time will you make it for Khole’s baby shower tonight?”

“I don’t know, I’ll get there when I get there”

“Kenzy don’t be selfish. This isn’t about you"

“Mom. Don’t be selfish. This isn’t about you either. I never said I wasn’t coming I just said I don’t know when I’ll get there. And I have a customer so I'll call you back”

“When? I have work in the next….”

“Five minutes. You have work in the next five minutes. I’ll call you when the moon shine’s during the day and the sun doesn't"