Last July

Chapter Sixty one

I ran my hand through my curls again. I was finally returning home today. Finally being given a break from the socialite life. The never ending dinner party, the swarms of unknown people, Peter watching me like a hawk. I was exhausted yet instead of being happy, excited, ecstatic about finally getting a break I was nervous. No. I wasn't having a breakdown because I was missing or going to miss the fact that I had to get her use to the fast paced choreography of the New York streets. No.  He'll no!

I wasn't ever going to be a big Apple girl. I liked noise as much as the next person, but above all I loved moving at my own place, and breaking every street sign to catch a train because I'm lste, which I will be ninety percent of the time will wind up with me dead. So no thanks.

So then the reason behind my uneasiness? I reread hope for the last few days after talking with Alicia. Taking everything she said to mind, I couldn't feeling as if she was really talking to me than about the character. The last few conversations with maverick have been great. We laughed, talked teased each other.

I started seeing pieces of the man I knew him to be formerly and I was drawn to that, I wanted it. But then I couldn't help wondering about other things about someone else in particular. My mind was with one while my heart with the other and now I was thorn.

I've convinced myself that the latter could never be, something so real, maybe even fabricated by my own yearning couldn't be real. The reality that I had to face was that this was what I had, him and at the moment things weren't so bad, but then why does my heart scream this much, my am I aching for something that this one just simply cannot fullfill?

"Distracted again"

I turned facing a nonchalant peter.

"Can I just have a few minutes to my thoughts, please, we're going home"

"What more do you want to think about? You wanna run your mind to ruins"

"Maybe you should try your inside voice sometimes, it's screaming for both of you to have a conversation"

He started to laugh. "You honestly think it's the right thing to do?"

I rolled my eyes seeing this wasn't a topic he was going to drop anytime soon.

"You've been walking around on egg shells for the last week kendall. Really, with all the laughs and charade that's going on you're really considering to take him back?"

My mouth fell. I'd never utter a word to Peter about him so how'd he figure it out, in fact I took pains to not even mention his name around him.

"I wasn't born blind love. I'm just telling you this isn't a good idea"

"I don't your judgement right now" I said walking into the restaurant to get something to eat before we had to board the plane.

Peter grabbed my hand pulling me back, his green eyes staring back at me while his honey colored hair danced in the circulating ear. I grimaced at how tight he held me, but was too taken aback to even mention a word.

"I think you do need my judgement actually" he said his eyes steadied on me. What the he'll was going on with him todsy? No coffee yet? " there's a reason why when a man walks out of your life, they shouldn't be let back in, especially ones like him"

"You don't even know him"

"Please I know his type"

"But-"

He shook his head telling me not to speak. "You're really going to argue with a man about these things?" He chuckled. " listen to me kendall, you can do much better, irrespective of what or how you might feel now, you won't feel the same way a few years or rather days from now When you've realised the mistake you've made taking him back"

"You don't know that!" I said adamantly . "What's everyone's problem with him? No one wants to give him  a chance. He deserves one"

"And What about you?"

I blinked not understanding his question.

"What about you Kendall? Don't you deserve a happy life, freedom to start over, probably with someone fresh"

I shook my head rigorously as Andrew popped up. Why the hell did he come to mind?

"No one wants to deal with people with issues"  my eyes dipped hoping Peter hadn't heard how hard my heart was beating at my thoughts. Why would I even think of Andrew of all people. He doesn't even think of me like that. He doesn't want me about it wants to see me.

Peter laughed almost hysterically, allowing his head to call back slightly while other guests passed us glancing momentarily before continuing on their way.

"Then you'll have yourself to yourself. Take yourself out, enjoy your own company, tell yourself you're beautiful and worth much more than what the bastard are willing to pay"

I guess that would explain why he was single right? He's too expensive for women.

"You want me to be as vain as you are, you pervertish narcist"

"I don't have wrinkles now though do I?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Trust me kendall, you're beautiful, okay be good to yourself for once"

"Wow thanks mom"

He grimaced stepping away from me quickly as if he didn't want to get caught close to me.

"Well, not that you listen to me anyway" he said walking off.