Last July

Chapter forty two

Regret://  sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's control or power to repair

I've felt this way before right? It's not another deja vu feeling you get knowing that what's occurring before your eyes couldn't truly have been before. Yes, definitely I've felt this way before. The ominous feeling of being caught in some awful circumstances that cuts your gut wide open. The hammer that slams into the nail reinforcing the truth that was already before your eyes but for some reason decided to ignore. It's actually days like these that make you realize your infamous stupidity. It maybe it wasn't stupidity.
I was sitting at the lake, mid afternoon something I hadn't done in a while. I was here with my usual company, pines and oaks, birds and wood peckers and only today the trout seemed to be in a rather good mood coming up every now and again to look at me. Or maybe the real reason was because I was throwing my lunch down at them.

I couldn't stay in the house any longer, after being cooped up for two days I felt a little sunlight was in order. I gave Andrew's garage a wide girth just in case my feet felt like taking a new direction, I haven't called or seen him and he hadn't attempted either. His girlfriend was here, slightly loud too and maybe just a little over irrational so I doubt he'd have time for conversation. My heart sank at the thought.

Even with knowing that there was someone special to him, it didn't prevent us from spending time with each other. Er....Maybe that came out wrong. I took a deep breath. I doubt I was going to like her very much, even though I didn't have to but I wasn't appreciative of her time or behavior. I wasn't half naked around andrew, I was fully clothed in his shirt and my pants. If she'd just give him the chance to explain, she'd known all that! Maybe leaving with notifying Andrew was disrespectful but since she started to question his fidelity I knew it was my time to leave.

Andrew was not exactly a complete gentleman but he was considerate at the very least, he's never flirted, not to my knowledge, not with me and though he doesn't exactly advertise their relationship I could He was rather respectful of it. Okay so I really pissed of at her actions and I deeply regret maybe causing it in the first place. If I hadn't fallen asleep, I would be gotten home that night and he wouldn't have had such a horrible morning. Especially since, he might have been longing to see her again.

Oh crap, what The hell am I upset when it's probably my fault! Shit!I

I glanced from the water as a vibration sounded against the boards. I bit the insides of my cheeks trying not to freak out and Peter's name down the face of my phone. Keep the conversation short, don't admit to anything. Right. This was peter.

"Peter"

I made my voice cheerful hoping I'd steer the conversation from the book.

"You sound better than the last time kendall"

"Yep" I said nodding for emphasis. "Soaking up some sun and you"

" Well truly I could be having a better morning but that's spilt coffee" I listen as he moved something around his desk"

"I'm not there Peter so you should be having a wonderful life until I get back"

He groaned and I started to laugh.

"Joked aside" he said getting serious. "This is week three kendall of four. I've already made a few appointments out of town for your book tour"

"Peter"

"And there's also one in Frankfurt that I'd like to confirm with you"

"Peter" I said again.

"Kendall, listen, I know you might want to settle for the mediocrity but I can't allow such nonsense anymore. Your fan base is picking up and while you might believe that you hadn't handle the sociality of it all I'm telling you, you can"