Stray Kids Imagines

*Changbin - Manager

A/n

This was requested by chubbybunnii

It might be a sensitive subject, so read at your own risk!

If any of you guys ever need someone to talk to, my DM's are open!♡

(Also sorry the paragraphs are splitted up so weirdly. It's because I also post on instagram so I basically had to stuff in everything I could together into one screenshot...)
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You had recently gotten yourself a new job after you were fired as a barista. They said you were clumsy and forgot orders too easily. At first you had been in a slump, but you decided to not give up and basically had ended up applying for every job offer you could see. At first you had not gotten any job offers, but you just kept applying to random jobs without even checking what the jobs were really about. And after some time someone from JYP had called you and told you that you had gotten the job as Stray Kids' new manager. You pretended to know what the dude was talking about, just playing along, but as soon as the call had ended you checked the job offer and figured it was a pretty good job with a good salary. You thought you would love the job as you were pretty strict and figured you could set some boys straight if needed.

When you first met them you were surprisingly shy and had a hard time controlling them, but how could you not. They were literally some of the loudest, messiest, most random boys you had ever seen. At first you thought you might not be fit for the job, but after getting used to them and getting to know them more, you fell for their personalities. You were now their best friend and manager in one. You had especially hung out a lot with 3Racha as they would often ask for your opinion on their songs. Meeting Stray Kids and becoming their manages soon had become the best choice of your life, as you had never had friends like them before. Unfortunately there were downsides about being their manager as well. Since they constantly made new albums and had comebacks that meant you had to be with them under their photoshoot.

You would look at how good they looked, how toned and healthy they all looked and it made you look at yourself differently. You looked down at your thighs, stomach, arms, legs and even thought about your face shape. You looked back at them, standing against a wall, but looking so perfect and photogenic. You then realised that you probably had been taken pictures off by fans at airports and such, as the members would always bully you a little. You searched up “Stray Kids' manager” online and thousands and thousands of pictures popped up. You looked at how fat you looked, especially standing beside the boys. You realised that you needed to change, and quick. The photoshoot was wrapping up and you greeted the members with a fake smile, bringing them home before you departed your ways. You immediately started exercising as soon as you walked into your own apartment.

You drank lots of water and started exercising like a maniac for 5 hours, even though it was 2 am when you had started. Before you knew it the clock had striked 7 am and you had to go to work once again in 45 minutes. Skipping breakfast, you jumped in the shower to get off the sweat that had been lingering on your body before you got into a presentable outfit and drove to their dorm to pick them up for their second day of the photoshoot. When you had picked them up, you acted lively like you normally were, and nobody seemed to notice that behind your attitude was a lost and deprived person. They got to their work and you stood on the sidelines, watching as normal. When lunch time came around you sat down with them, but had decided not to eat anything. When you didn't grab anything to eat Jeongin asked “y/n, aren't you going to eat?” Making the other members look at you as well. “No, I had a really big breakfast. I am still full from that, but thank you for caring for me.”

You said giving him a genuine smile. Jeongin smiled and the members soon continued to chat away like they had before. You tried your best to act normal, and luckily for you you were pretty good at lying. You knew it wasn't good, and you didn't really want to lie to them either, but you knew that what you were doing would make them look at you in a different light, and you didn't want that one bit. So you just kept on lying to them, losing a little piece of yourself every time you did, becoming more and more lost. When they eventually went back to their shooting you signed up for a gym that was open 24/7 so you could hopefully shred off as much as possible, as fast as possible. The second you had sent them home again you went to the gym and repeated the day like the day before. Spending the night at the gym, not eating, just drinking water, going back home to work and once again show up tired at work. You did this for about a month, but you still weren't happy with the outcome.

To you, your thighs were still fat, your belly was still hanging, your legs didn't have any muscle and your arms still looked like ones of a flying squirrel. You didn't feel even a tad bit happier. You figured you still had to keep going for a while, cause you had just lost 10 kilograms/22 pounds so far. You only ate once every three days, and since you knew Stray Kids would be suspicious if you never ate with them, you ate with them, but went to the bathroom to throw it up again as soon as they were busy with their own stuff so they wouldn't notice your absence. A month passed by like this, and you were still in the clear. You would wear baggy clothes to hide your disgusting shape from the world, and so far it was working. You were now sitting in their dance practice room as you watched them do their newest choreography. You sat there impressed as always, and clapped when they were done. They sat down as they took out their lunches.

When you told them you "forgot" your lunch they gave you some of theirs. You thanked them even though you didn't want food within a 5 meter radius of you. You ate in none the less to not arouse suspicion. After they had fed you quite the amount of food, you realised you needed to escape. You pretended like your phone was on silent, and that someone was calling you. “Sorry guys, I'll have to take this.” You said bringing your phone up to your ears, trying to convince them the best you could. They nodded as you walked out of the practice room. You walked into the nearest bathroom and put two fingers down your throat, and before you knew it your stomach was once again empty. You flushed it down as you stood up. You felt a little light headed but washed your hands as you walked out the door. You jumped back when you were met face to face with Changbin, the second you opened the door. “I knew it! I knew something was wrong! Why are you doing this to yourself y/n?”

You just stood there frozen, not being able to say anything. He then embraced you in a close hug. “How did you find out?” You managed to barely stutter out. “You would "coincidentally" forget your lunch too often, and every time you did eat with us you would immediately do something right afterwards. Didn't you think I would notice that you became way skinnier, even if you're wearing baggy clothes? And after what I just heard, I am now sure.” He said in a lecturing yet comforting tone at the same time. “I am sorry. It's just that there are so many eyes on me now that I am your guys' manager. People always take pictures of you guys in the airport and stuff, and on some pictures I will appear. It made me realise how fat and ugly I am, especially standing beside you guys. And when I look at you all looking like perfection in photoshoots, I can't help but doubt myself and feel insecure.” You said as you slowly started sobbing. Changbin pulled away and looked into your eyes before he said.

“I should have checked sooner, I should have checked the moment I knew something was up. I'm sorry for not being there for you! I know this isn't the right time or place, but I want you to know that someone cares! Stray Kids cares about you, and especially me. Cause I like you, I like you a lot y/n. I like everything about you, from your head to your toes.” he said and kissed your forehead. His eyes once again met yours. “Please don't do anything this dangerous ever again. I like you just the way you are, but if you absolutely have to, do it right and do it healthily. I will be here for you and I'll happily help you do it the right way, if that protects you from doing this ever again.” You could see tears in tear ducts, and it didn't take long before they fell. Never had someone cared about you this much, and for the first time in your life, you felt loved. “Thank you.” You said, being genuine for the first time in over a month before you gave him a peck on his lips.