YouTube Group Short Stories

(23) Jolt

Ship: CaRtOoNz x Trans! Male! Reader

Requested by: nobody

Challenge: None

Note #1: Just a little heartbreak type thing since I've never written one of these before

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Friday said to be the best days of the week, kids get to spend time with their friends. Teens get to chill and do whatever they want, stay up however long they want. Adults get the chance to spend with their loved ones; do whatever they feel like that day because nobody can really tell them no. Other than the law of course, but me...




but me...




what about me...




I'm just sitting here...




wishing Friday never came...




because I know that all he wanted was her...

was I never good enough?

he always told me that he loved me...

but now I see it was all a lie...




"Losing the person you fell in love with sucks..."










"But it doesn't matter..."









"It never did once matter, so why does it still hurt..."

Monday's: kids don't like it because they have to go back to school, teens despise it because they are tired for spending too much time playing videogames or talking with their friends to go to bed, adults it doesn't matter too much since they are just going to be happy and see their love again. But me, what about me?




I'm standing here, waiting for him. Wanting to know what was wrong, and in a way, I got what I wanted...




but I didn't want to know my dreams and doubts were right...




I really was hoping I was going to wake up and everything was going to be a dream... a terrible terrible dream...




And as the seconds went by, turning into minutes, minutes into hours. I see him once again he seems happier so I don't say anything. I pretend I'm okay, I am okay, I'm not okay, but I will be. I see him with his arm around my friend, my best friend, it doesn't matter. My feelings don't matter, he likes her, he will continue to like her. I don't own him, and I don't control his feelings. But he was the first...




Luke was the first to not care if I was a guy...




Luke was the first to not care if I was a girl...




He said he loved me for me...




But after three weeks he regains the feelings that he once lost...




Was he using me to get to her?




I don't want to think like that, she is my best friend. She once said she was in love with me, but I didn't return the feelings. I continuously told her she will move on to someone else, but I would never realize. No, I refused to realize the truth, all because of my idiocy. I should have known he would leave me for her, I realized that Friday when Luke and I were supposed to go on a date. She was bored so he brought her along, I accepted because I thought nothing of it. But that nothing turned his weekend into a bad one and made me feel invisible.

I tell I'm just glad he is happy, that she makes him happy. He found someone he actual likes, she easily replaces me. We used to constantly call or text and once face-timed, I just wasn't what he wanted, it doesn't matter. She's what he wanted. She will be all he ever wants.

I stand up on stage, everyone roaring excitedly to see me and my bad play once again.

"HELLOOOOOO EVERYBODY!" I say into the mic making everyone scream while getting excited, "Now for this first song, is a new song. For those who know it can sing along, for those who don't feel free to listen, if we have extra time I might just sing it again for you all!" After that sentence, everyone screams while the first beats of the song startsup.

And some will take the high road, I will go low
There's nothing left behind me, set fire to it all
The fury will fade and the images too
A world without you, that's what I need to do
So part of me wants you to fade
Wherever you used to be
And now I won't remember
You, you
You don't get to say goodbye, erasing the pain inside
You, you
Eternal side of my mind, a jolt and then you'll die
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh
Will I want to go back, will I ever try
Maybe this is the end, my bitter paradise
So part of me wants you to fade
Wherever you used to be
And now I won't remember
You, you
You don't get to say goodbye, erasing the pain inside
You, you
Eternal side of my mind, a jolt and then you'll die
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh
I wanted to run, wanted to live my life by the gun
She left me stunned, but I'm still alive
I wanted to fly, wanted to feel the sun in the sky
I flew too close, but oh
You, you
You don't get to say goodbye, erasing the pain inside
You, you
Eternal side of my mind, a jolt and then you'll die
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, oh

You can always mistake a dream to reality but you can never mistake reality into a dream unless you know different methods. So after that jolt, I'll be reset, one way or another I will become reset and not thinking about dating. I should have known, what would this be called? Idiocy? Oblivious? Arrogance? I don't know but I do know I will be me once again. And I have to stay me for a very long time. 

You left me wondering if things were going to work, and if you do end up reading this. Just know I really did like you but for whatever the reason I understand. You really just like her, so the first step might be asking her to homecoming. I don't know when you started to realize your feelings for her but I wish you didn't make me have hope. Now I have to reset myself and pretend whatever happened was just a dream. Just a dream like the rest of the memories I want to forget.