JENSOO One-Shot Collections

When I Was Your (Wo)Man

   *    I should've given you everything. When I was still your partner - your woman.

***

A bad dream - a dream that was meant to be in reality. A dream which I wish that - that could only happen only in dramas or fiction, but no because it does happen to my life - my nonsense life.  I guess, the quote "Dreams do come true" is real. Proven by myself.

Too stupid to let her slipped away from me. Too stupid for not giving her the little attention she's been asking from me. Too stupid for realizing, she's the one when... she's no longer mine. Too stupid for thinking that I could find someone else just like her but... no one could ever have the same replica of her. She's too perfect for a too stupid person - which is me.

I wish I'm not able to wake up every day when I fall asleep, because in my dreams... I could still hear her laugh, could still hug her, could still kiss her. I wish... just a wish which will never come true! NEVER.

Loud horns woke me up from my sweetest dream after a long time. We were cuddling, kissing, and talking while watching the sun's stunning beams fade away. We ... we're almost making up when this noise disturbs me. 

Once I opened my eyes, as usual... all I could see are my white painted ceiling with hanging gold chandelier lights. A smile paints across my face as I closed my eyes again when I remember our moments here. I woke up every morning and be able to see the angel that's been sleeping on top of me - not even minding that we're both naked after our make-up session during the entire night.

Spreading my arms and realized, it's only me. I moved my head towards my left as a lone tear escaped from my eyes. Stop it! Stop crying. It's still all your fault. I could still smell her scent from the other pillow that she's been using when ... when we're still together. "This bed is too big for me." But... but I can't dare remove it or replace it. No. Hell no. I can't.

I flopped myself away from my favorite sinchan pillow - the one you gave to me during our first anniversary and heaved a long sorrowful sigh. "Oh, it's still 10 pm." Wow. It's been a long time since I looked at my wall clock. After that day, I never dared to look at it, what for? I don't have anyone to serve breakfast at 6:30, no one to rain kisses for not waking up early for her duty, and sometimes, turns into a morning session makeup. 

My morning turns into night and my night turns into the morning - Night Life. The only way to escape from this... this torture. I don't even know who's been cleaning my lonely condo... ahh, maybe, one of the building's janitors. I don't give a damn care about it anymore. 

Holding my cabinet's frame while walking towards the bathroom cause, I feel like my head was smashed by a big hammer. "Stupid hungover!"  I don't even know if that's too loud or just a whisper, who cares anyway. I'm the only one in this unit - my unit. 

Slowly tossing my clothes towards the cold tiled floors, I immediately turned on the shower. So cold. Cold? I thought only my heart could feel that kind of sensation. Cold. No one tries to warm this up. Oh..No... Few have tried but failed to do it. My heart's fire match is just looking for its appropriate stick wood - too sad they'll not be able to meet again, I guess. That stick wood... She brought it with her and maybe ... she already cut it into tiny tiny tiny pieces that no one could ever fix it and so my match couldn't light it anymore. "I should've treasured that stick."