Accidentally In Love // Raura

Chapter Thirty Three

R o s s

"I had thoughts about being with Rocky when we were together."

Everything when slient after that. I could hear mumbling in the background. I knew Laura would be trying to explain herself. I didn't want to hear anything at the moment. I've tried really hard to be cool about this whole thing and be accepting, but how am I supposed to do that when I hear something like this?

"I had thoughts about being with Rocky when we were together."

Those words kept replaying in my head. How could Laura be thinking like that? Was it just as we started dating or was it for longer? Every time she saw Rocky did that make her want to be with him more? Did they actually do anything when we were together? Oh god. I know the only way to find out anything is to listen to what Laura was saying but I couldn't bring myself back to reality.

Without saying a word I stand up and leave. I don't have anything on me but I wasn't going back there for a while. I wasn't really sure where I was going but I didn't care. I don't know what the exact time is, I would guess around 9pm ish maybe. Rocky, Laura and I weren't talking for that long and I got home just after 8pm. I start walking, I'm not really sure where but I was letting my feet take me wherever. I had to get out of that house, away from them. They could have "been together" in there. I just wanted to be as far away from that whole situation as possible.

I had been walking for a while now. I wasn't focusing on where I was going I was just letting my thoughts consume me. I look up and I'm not really sure where I am. It was now completly dark besides from street lights and other lights making it bright. I check my pockets to see if I have any money for something that could help me. I checked my back pocket and I was relieved when I pulled out my wallet. I had no idea this was in here. I knew I had taken it to Becca's but I thought I took it out when I got home, apparently not. I kept walking hoping I would find a pay phone somewhere, eventually I did. I called a taxi to come and pick me up. I looked at the street sign to help me, I still had no idea where I was.

When the taxi got here I told the driver to drop me off at a hotel. I knew I was in no state to go home tonight. I hope Rocky would cover for me, he does owe me that. I didn't really know when I would return home. I know I can't stay away forever because my parents would start to worry and know something is up. Laura can't stay there forever and Rocky will go out eventually.

Before I knew it I was at my destination. I was in luck because they had a room available. Once I got up to my room the first thing I did was go to my bed and lie down. I closed my eyes and let myself relax. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know anything at this point in time. Still, Laura's words kept repeating in my head over and over again.

"I had thoughts about being with Rocky when we were together."

I couldn't escape them.

I couldn't take it anymore. I got in the shower hoping the water would wash away the thoughts. There I was with water running down my face and I still couldn't get my mind of Laura, Laura and Rocky, and me and Laura. It was like I had hit the replay button and it was continuously played in my head. I had a few options on where I could go with this, I didn't particularly like any of them. I could try and get over it but I wasn't really sure how to do that or if I could even do that. The other options include things I would like to do but probably shouldn't. I'm not even sure if Rocky knew about her thoughts.

I turn off the tap and step out of the shower. I felt a cool breeze as I got out. I wrapped a towel around myself and headed into my bedroom. I knew if I put on a movie I couldn't pay attention to it so there was no point. I lied back down on my bed and tried to think of anything other than that.

I knew I had to get all my thoughts out. That's what I always do when something is on my mind. I looked around the room and found a note pad and pen with the hotels name on it. I began to write down everything I was feeling. I not really sure what this was meant to be but everything I was thinking came out onto the paper.

I don't know what to do. I got told that the girl I love had thoughts about being with my brother, who she once loved, when we were together. I got up and left because I couldn't stand being there. I'm not overacting am I? I don't know how I can get past this, I really can't. I thought of so many things but still nothing comes to mind. I don't know if I should go back and face them tomorrow or wait a couple more days. I know the boys usually play hockey a least once a week and as far as I know they haven't played it this week yet. There is my opportunity to go home, leave my mom a note and grab some of my stuff. If I get caught though I will have to face everyone. Another thing, what if Laura is there. I have no idea what she is going to do. Is it wrong of me to still be worring about her? After everything she has put my through over these past couple of days. Should I still be concerned about what she is feeling? I know I love her, I've never really stopped. After all this I still can't help but love her. I know it's probably not the right thing, but screw right this is how I feel. I've loved her since I was fifteen. I can't help that. You love who you love. Right now though, I know I can't be with her. This whole Rocky thing. I just need it to play out and see how I feel then. I'm not saying I'll never be with her again because that will be pretty hard since I love her but I don't see it happening. Then I guess, this is hard for me to say but, if she wants to be with Rocky, she can.

After I was done I felt better, not completely but writing everything down help. I was starting to get tired, it had been a long day. I hopped into bed and finally got comfortable. My last thought before I drifted off to sleep was "How can I tell the girl I love and will probably continue to love for the rest of my life that I can't be with her?"

/ / / / / / /

So sorry about not updating for a week I have been super busy. I've been trying to write but I haven't found time. I'm trying to work on the next chapter so you don't have to wait so long next time. Sorry again!

Another thing I just want to say is that I will write 'mom' when it is them writing it because they wouldn't spell it 'mum' as I do. Just felt like pointing that out.

Until next time...

// H e r e C o m e s F o r e v e r _ x o 💕 //