The One | CRENSHAW

The Talk

I had another session with my "counselor" or whatever the fuck you wanna call the shit, for twelve o'clock but I was running late, I spent most of my morning with my family. We picked up the Khalil from my moms house this morning after our long almost intimate night,

I don't know what was up with Boog last night but I ain't stressing it. She had me thinking long and hard bout an engagement ring because I know for a fact this is who I'm spending the rest of my life with, I am not gonna do that yet though until I had faith in my own self that I wasn't going to fuck things up between us ever again.

I sat in the parking lot of my counselor office I was in deep thoughts, thinking about the many issues I face on a day to day bases. I'm tired of hurting Boog or making her feel a certain way, It was going to be in my best interest that after my session today I'd really do right by Boog to make sure everything was going okay with her.

"Good afternoon Ermias good to see you looking good this afternoon" the receptionist that sat behind the desk in the lobby said to me as she looked over her glasses.

I didn't bother to stop and talk I just gave her a fake laugh, a nod and I continued with walking straight to the office where me and Dr.Brown normally meet.

I knocked on the door twice before entering, it was very obvious he was waiting on my ass because his ass was tapping on his watch with a smile on his face.

"Aye my bad Doc I got caught up with the family and shit feel me?"

"You are Alright Ermias! You're one of my favorites Glad to hear you was with your family, So how are you?"

Before I started talking I let out a loud sigh, taking my hat off my head and placing it in my lap.

"Im good... Wow, where do I start, well for one me and my girl got into it after the last time you seen me, It was just a nasty argument it aint get physical but it did, but it wasn't bad I mean we cool now Im just filling you in Doc"

"Physical on who end Ermias?" He looked at me through his glasses.

"Both ends"

"But who initiated it?"

"I did" I said rubbing my face with two hands, I can feel his disappointment and energy because I was doing so good, Even Retalking about it up made me disappointed.

"Can you replay whatever happened for me? Just so I can get the full feel of what happened?" He wrote down in his notebook crossing his legs looking at me.

"We got into a argument where I became mad and frustrated so I grabbed her face but because she lightskinned a mark appeared it wasn't my intentions at all she was upset so she pushed my chest, then another argument occurred where I grabbed her shit"

"What do you think was the cause of her behaving that way? And you grabbed her shirt? Describe that as well"

"I can't really say because ah I mean um I just I don't know." I watched as he raised his eyebrows writing on his clip board. I know I was sounding really crazy especially this being the place I'm supposed to talk my problems through.

"You already told one part I think thats the worse it could get"

I started clutching my jaws trying to see if I wanted to replay the events for Doc, "Ermias relax what have I told you about being tense!"

I relaxed my shoulders and sat back in the chair letting out a sigh "It's because some chick was saying she had my baby so I guess my girl got upset about the conversation but she was already upset about something else I can't really remember right now Doc that was long ago the other argument my brother was standing behind her when I grabbed her shirt pulling her close to me in a aggressive way"

"Ohhh wowww yeah women get upset when you bring up another woman Ermias I could've told you that man!"

Doc and I laughed the shit true but I had to tell Boog, I aint want to hide that typa shit from her because if that was my child I was gone be in his life and shit.

"So the shirt part what was your intentions? Was it a motive behind it?"

"I didn't want her to go"

"Go where?" He clicked his pen against his notebook

"Leave me... leave the house .. I thought I was losing her"

"Okay continue I'll tell you what I think after"

"Then I have my little sister and her ex dude going through it I wanna hurt the nigga! She tells me stay out her business but I feel like as a big brother I shouldn't have to, He got marks and shit all on my sister body, My sister a female she can handle her own but she ain't stronger than no dude"

"Say that last line again Ermias"

"My sister a female-"

"Okay stop there, So why did you think it was okay to grab your girl face and shirt in a aggressive matter if you don't want your sister touched?"

I sat and thought about that shit for a minute and I was caught up, This was the only time another dude can have me speechless with nothing to say.

"Would you ever want another dude to do what you did to your girl? If y'all weren't together?"

"No because even if we wasn't together she's the mother of my child Doc"

"Ok, I hear everything that you're saying and it's fair that you feel this way because you're always their protector but She may also feel like sometimes you're being overly aggressive or protective and maybe you are. But, for your sister she is an adult, who will have to face her own battles and get through them on her own, if she asks you to stay out of her business respect her wishes until she says herself it's ok to step in"

"Yo but he like hit her she not finna tell me mind my business when she walking round with hoodies on because this nigga wanted to be a punk and touch her"

"She's a big girl now who has her own life let her live it because you won't always be around, continue working on Ermias, trying to make Ermias a better man for the woman he loves and for his kids"

"If it was just plain arguments like usual I would leave it alone but all that hitting shit I aint with Doc!"

"Ermias.. I see we got a lot to work on with you and we have so much time for that"

"Man alright Doc" We both got up and shook hands,

"Don't put so much pressure on yourself Ermias everyone mess up, I'm a counselor and I even mess up sometimes don't let that define you!"

"Thanks Doc" I looked down at my watch checking the time as I unlocked my car and jump right in only to see that it was just two thirty so I called Boog up and asked her if she wanted to do something with the kids.