One mystery left to solve | Dipper Pines (COMPLETED)

Irrational Treasure

We were in Stan's car. He was honking the horn because someone was blocking his way. I looked over to Mabel who put on some nachos on her ears as earrings.

"Haha! Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!" She said as me and Dipper laughed a little

"That's debatable. Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic? And why is it all...covered wagons? Oh no! No! No! Not today! Not today!" Stan started to panic as I looked out the window. Oh god. I forgot about this day.

"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Dipper asked him as Stan started to panic

"We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!" He said as Dipper had a scared look on his face.

"Chill out. Stan is freaking out because today is Pioneer Day." I explained as he looked at me with a confused expression.

We all walked out of the car. "Ah, boy. It's Pioneer day. Every year these weirdos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded." I explained to the twins. I personally despised this holiday. I found it meaningless and totaly no fun. I mean what actually is fun about going back like 200 years in time. I mean I am pretty sure they didn't even have soap back then.

"Welcome to 1863!" Toby said as he walked past us.

"I will break you, little man!" Stan said to him

"Wow! Look! Candle dipping!" Unlike me Mabel was amazed by this thing.

"Whoa, gold panning!" Dipper said.

Me and the twins saw a man with a woodpecker on his arm. He tried to kiss it. "What's that?" Mabel asked me.

"Back then it was legal to marry woodpeckers for some reason." I explained

"Oh, it's still legal." The man said as he passed by us petting his new wife i guess.

"Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!" Someone announced. The twins looked excited.

"Grunkle Stan, you coming?" The twins asked him.

"No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shak talking like these people, you're dead to me." He told us

"There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!" Dipper said.

"Well hornswabber my haversack!" Mabel added as I just watched in disgust.

The twins started to run off and i followed them

"Dead to me!" I heard Stan shout after us.

"Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence." One of the policemen on the stage said.

"Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich." Pacifica said as she came up on the stage. "Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself." suddenly i felt Mabel cheer up. I don't know how but I felt it.

"Audience participation!" Mabel gasped

"Mabel come on think about it. She is like the worst of the worst."

"Oh pshhhh. It's alright!" And so she went on the stage.

"Our first newcomer is... Mabel..." she said angrily.

"Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!" Mabel said.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous. I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?" I was about the go on the stage and end Pacifica right then and there but Dipper grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.