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warnings: angst, alcohol, swearing, mentions of cheating, and tiny bit of fluff
not edited
You glared right into your glass, half full of the strongest wine you could find in your alcohol cabinet. It still wasn't strong enough to wash away the pain that you had just endured. The pain so bad that you felt filthy, you had to bathe in hope of some the memories to flood away. But it still stuck to you like blood sucking leech.
You downed the rest of the red liquid and set it right down next to the bottle. Sighing at the fact it was third bottle you had finished tonight. You originally started drinking because you had the same hope you when taking a shower; to erase. That still hasn't come, not even after your third bottle.
You glanced at the expensive watch on your wrist. Undoing the golden band as soon as you saw the late time of two in the morning. Any minute, you seethed to yourself. Collecting the empty bottles and your large wine glass. Cleaning up the objects that could be used to hurt him before you got the chance.
Discarding of the bottles just in time to hear your alarm say someone's in the driveway. A small smirk grazed your lips while you placed your glass down on your countertop. Strutting to meet Jinyoung in the foyer. Jinyoung in all his beauty, removed his expensive coat, placing it along with your and your child's coats.
Like a family.
"How was she?" You asked, a forced smile coming after.
Jinyoung gazed at you in question. He knew exactly what you were referring to. But he didn't know how you knew. For all he knew, you were clueless and he was getting away with it.
"Why're you up so early?" Jinyoung attempted to change the subject and take the spotlight off of him.
"I asked something first," Jinyoung leaned against the back of your luxurious couch. You stopped under the chandelier, leaving a great distance between the two of you.
"How was she?" You could smell her cheap perfume already. It burned your nostrils and tickled your insides, scorched your throat that you swallowed thick.
Jinyoung didn't respond this time. Just prepearing himself for the rough blows that you'd send his way and make him feel his guilt up front.
"Oh, you didn't think I knew about her? I've tracked your phone for the last month. Every saturday night, that's where you disappear to. And I know exactly who she is. Young, no kids, no partner, no baggage."
You laughed through the pain. You laughed at the fact your husband was so damn stupid to believe you wouldn't catch on. So damn stupid.
The look on his face was also amusing. It encouraged you to keep going. The face of guilt and shame as his eyes darted anywhere but your figure. Your figure that was so close to falling apart because of what he had done.
"Her skin is beautiful, her eyes are beautiful, her everything is beautiful, her everything is envious," Your voice mellowed into a soft, yet strong, whisper. "Is anything about me envious, Jinyoung ?"
There was no lie when you said so close because here you were tearing up. You didn't plan on cracking in front of Jinyoung. The plan was to be strong and confident while you made him feel small and accountable for his actions. But the wine was taking a toll on you, you were becoming undone. You were letting out very emotion you kept pent up since that day you first found out.
Every cry you could've had while he was sleeping peacefully next to you, every sob you could've wracked while he took your daughter out to enjoy time with her, every scream you wanted to break out every Saturday you tracked him. They all wanted to be released now and it wasn't fair.
Jinyoung saw the first tear roll down your cheek and on instinct tried to take a step closer to you. But his step forward only triggered you to take a step backwards. You didn't want him to comfort you, you didn't want him to touch you.
After all his hands were just roaming another women's body while he made love to her. His hands were filthy, he was filthy.
Then he spoke, "___, of course you have something envious. Everything about you is envious. Your everything doesn't compare to hers-"
"Oh shut up," You scoffed, wiping your cheeks as more tears flowed down.
"Don't throw her under the bus now, baby. She's gorgeous and I see why you go to her every Saturday.." It was true. She was. But the only thing she didn't have was her dignity. And you swore to never lose yours.
Jinyoung sighed. "Don't say that. I made a mistake. I made a very stupid mistake. I cheated on you which is the worst thing I've ever done. I realized that tonight.."
You shook your head, "Was the realization before or after you fucked her?"
"Actually, I only went over to her place to end things. I got my stuff from her house, it's in the car. The reason why I'm home so late is because I was driving around, avoiding this."
He just had to fucking speak. He just had to steal your thunder with his accountability. Why was he so perfect? You weren't even upset anymore.
Just disappointed.
And that's where you broke your promise of never losing your dignity. You didn't want him to go even after all the vile things he had done behind your back, even after putting your family in jeopardy, you couldn't see an outcome of a good life without Jinyoung being involved.
Silence filled the room and you two just stood there. The only sound were your sniffles since your tears were calming down.
"I'm really sorry, ___. You can leave me, I'll even leave if you want me too. Just let me see our-"
"Enough of that," You took a long inhale. "You can stay. Sadly, I love you too much and it would hurt more if you left. I just really hope you're telling the truth. Because I don't know what I would do if we had to do this again.."
Jinyoung took slowly steps forward and you let him this time. You let him gingerly grip your shoulders and rub your arms up and down.
"I promise. I don't know what I do either."
"Well, I just want you to know that if this does happen again I won't be that forgiving and you'll most likely lose your wife. Understood?" You glared up at him.
