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warnings: angst, mentions of love, cliché, and swearing
So, this is what it feels like.
You said to yourself as you watched your best friend check himself out in his mirror. Never did you expect you'd be saying those words when it came to him. Never. You and Jinyoung weren't even alike, polar opposites. But here you were, eyes twinkling like you had captured every single star in them while you stared at him with all the love you could offer.
You were in love.
In love with your best friend. What a fucking cliché. You had a right to be upset with yourself, you had been ten years strong without falling. Even when Jinyoung comforted you every time you needed to cry or vent, you stayed afloat. When you guys kissed that one time drunkenly, absolutely fine. But watching him prepare himself for a date you realized your little tiny, "safe" boat had capsized.
And now you were drowning. Hoping Jinyoung could hear you and save you. But to be honest, you'd rather keep sinking than confess. You didn't want to face the reality of Jinyoung flat out rejecting you. You didn't want to come back to shore.
"Think she'll like it?" You could hear over the thickness of the water.
"Yea," You answered, not even having the heart to gaze at him anymore. This was all too much. Why did you have to realize now? Why did this all happen to you now?
He's going out to meet his potential wife for christs sake. They have everything in common. Law majors, introverted, witty, strange sense of humor, undeniably beautiful. God, she'sbeautiful.
"___?" Jinyoung asked, concern lacing his words. Oh no, he suspects something. Why wouldn't he? You look like someone took your heart out, ran over it several times, shot it, then threw it off a cliff. You looked sad.
"Yea?" You went to sit on the edge of his bed. Wishing you could just be swallowed by his mattress or have the ability to disappear.
"Are you alright? You were just so excited a couple of minutes ago." And then I realized I was in love with you..
"I'm fine. Just a bit tired. Had a long day at work." You lied, and you failed. Jinyoung knew you didn't have work today. But he stayed quiet and walked over to you. Stupid caring personality trait.
Dressed up and all, Jinyoung came to sit down next to you. Draping his right arm over your shoulder and pulling you into him to comfort you.
"You don't have to lie to me. You should know I see right through you." He chuckled charmingly, it sent a pang to your heart. Jinyoung held you close while rubbing your arm. With the thoughts you had in your mind right about now, you didn't want to be close to him.
The top thing you wanted was space. Especially space away from him. You swallowed thickly, "I think I need some sleep, Jinyoung. Your date starts soon anyway, you should be leaving out now."
You detached yourself from Jinyoung and your body felt so cold without his embrace. Everything felt cold without him, but you knew you guys weren't going any farther than the best friend mark. So why try?
Why try and stay and hurt yourself in the process?
"___.." Jinyoung stood with you.
"Seriously, just- please, I'm tired." You assured him, heading for his bedroom door.
"Fine. I'll call you after?" He said.
He knew you weren't tired. You had a thing for staying up till three in the morning.
"Sure." You left with a heavy heart, hoping leaving Jinyoung alone was for the best. The best for the both of you.
