The Things I'd Rather Forget // Countryhumans AU

Ch 25: Why do you care about me? \\ The Panic Attack

So @Zum12346 made an animation for my story (which is absolutely amazing). It was actually what motivated me to stop being lazy and write this chapter, so please watch it (I put it above) and send them love! And thank you so much for making it in the first place, Zum! I love you, no homo.

-Selva

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America's eyes widened. Their voices were the exact same. How didn't he notice it before? America glanced up at Russia and his face contorted into one of confusion and disbelief. Why did Russia care? America wasn't worth it. He never had been.

Russia, who had just been sitting there as America had this great revelation, was extremely confused. He didn't know why America had suddenly become deathly silent, but he did notice America's expression and that something big was going to happen. Even so, that didn't stop him from worrying about America. Hesitantly, he asked, "Hey, Meri? Are you okay?"

America's heard jerked up. America stared at Russia, his thoughts going at 100 miles per second. He had to ask Russia. He had to ask Russia if he knew. His eyes scanned the restaurant. There were too many people. But, there was an exit to the outside of the restaurant roughly on America's right. America stood up suddenly, startling Russia. America grabbed Russia's arm and dragged him outside. Once the light spring wind hit America, he turned around to look at an extremely confused Russia. Russia broke the silence first, "What's going on, America?"

America sucked in a deep breath. He looked up at Russia, forcing himself to look determined and strong. In reality, he was terrified. But Russia couldn't know that. "Do you know?" America questioned.

Russia looked confused by the question, "What?"

America felt himself get even more scared and emotional, "Do you know?!"

Russia paused for a moment upon seeing America's face, his fake smile long gone. Then it hit him. Oh. Oh. But even so, as Russia looked into America's eyes, he knew that America probably wasn't talking about what Russia thought he was talking about. There was something more. Something that America wanted to keep secret so badly that his happy facade had shattered under the weight of it being figured out. Russia feigned oblivion, "Know what?"

America, however, quickly caught onto Russia's fake act. Russia knew something, and it was driving America insane at what he might have heard when America was drunk. Russia shouldn't know, but if he did know, then- America felt something inside him snap. "You can't fool me. You know exactly what I'm talking about! My depression, my cracks-" America gasped at his own words and quickly put his hands over his mouth to stop himself from speaking any more. But it was far too late, Russia had heard him.

Russia's eyes widened in a mixture of disbelief and fear, "C-cracks?" His gaze flew to America's gloves. He remembered all too vividly how his dad cracked and eventually collapsed. Hands crack first. Russia didn't want to believe it, but he knew it was true. That was the reason why America was wearing gloves and had been wearing gloves for the past month.

America was cracking.

...Just like Russia's dad.

And since it's been months, he probably doesn't have that much longer until he shatters completely. Russia felt a lump form in his throat. He couldn't lose someone he loves, not again.

America started stuttering, his biggest secret had been found out, "N-no, I-I- I'm not-"

"Don't you dare lie to me and tell me that you don't have cracks," Russia growled. America took a step back and Russia suddenly realized how threatening and harsh he was being. Russia calmed himself, and looked at America with a pleading gaze, "Please, it's okay. I can help."