🔶 8 - Satisfied 🔶

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[Api's POV]

As big brother Cahaya's young brother, I do support and admired all of his achievements he received. I'm deeply proud with all of his hardwork and his success from all the challenges he faced throughout the journey. I was really amazed with him, but when it reached to the point that it turned or made my big brother into arrogant and boastful person, deep inside I felt really disappointed, and disbelief at the same time.

Now, I see my big brother differently. Very different from the big brother I once knew. That big brother who became all too pride to himself lately. That big brother, whom I don't know anymore...

Do those things really make you happy, big brother? Do those really put a smile on your face everytime? Are you already satisfied with it? Or, do you want more of it?

Because if it does, I'm afraid one day, you'll forget what really makes you happy, what and who puts those wide smiles on your face. I'm afraid you'll change into a different person than to become a better one who's a role model to my eyes. I'm scared that one day, you'll forget about me.

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"You've done a great job again, my son!" Our dad said gleefully, making my big brother grinned proudly. "Here's another one of your rewards!" Dad then took something out from his pocket, revealing another great amount of money for my big brother.

Big brother Cahaya smiled widely as he gently took the cash from our father's hand. "Sweet! Thanks Dad!" He genuinely said, gripping the bills in hand to his chest.

I'm currently on the stairs, sitting down while watching my big brother get what he wants. But, those aren't really the ones he needed. I looked at my big brother sadly, full of disbelief.

Dad then sighed deeply. "I wish your little brother does the same. But, he wasn't good enough with anything. But you, my son," He stated, as he placed both of his hands onto my big brother's shoulders as he kneeled down to his level. "I'm so proud of you." My big brother only grinned widely in response.

A tear escaped from my eyes. 'Dad's... not proud of me...? Even if I'm trying my best at anything...?' I thought as I started sobbing quietly while hugging my knees.

If Dad's not proud of me, does Mom do too? What if it's now my big brother? Will they tell me how useless I am? How weak I am? How I'm just a burden to this family?

Thinking these negative thoughts in my mind made me stand up and rushed towards my room, slamming the door shut afterwards. I swiftly went to my bed and cried uncontrollably. Tears were continously falling from my eyes, as I hugged my knees closer to my chest.

"Please... Please don't change, big brother... Please, please, please... I'm begging you..." I softly mumbled between my sobs. "... Please don't forget me..."

After crying for who-knows-how-long, I hadn't noticed I fell asleep on my bed, my bed sheet stained with cold tears. Unknowingly, I uttered something when I was asleep.








"... I need you, big brother Cahaya..."

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So... my summative tests were moved next week and I guess, I have some time to update! :D

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