🔶 11 - Perfect 🔶

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[Api's POV]

"I wish your little brother does the same. But, he wasn't good enough with anything."

... I'm trying, Dad... I'm trying... so hard...

"WHY CAN'T YOU DO BETTER!? WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOUR BIG BROTHER WHO'S DOING A GREAT JOB WITH HIS LIFE!?"

... I'm sorry, Mom... But, how can I? If there's no one, nor even any of you, wants to help me when I needed it the most...? When I needed my family the most...?

"YOU'RE SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT IN THIS FAMILY!"

Maybe, I am a disappointment... And, I'm sorry if I was ever born a disappointment to this family...

"ISH! WILL YOU JUST QUIT IT, YOU CHILDISH BRAT!?"

I apologize for trying to be that humble little brother you wanted me to be, big brother... That little brother you wanted to just stay who he is, where you wouldn't care if I was being so playful around you and just accepts me for who I am...

"I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY BUT YOU JUST WON'T LISTEN, YOU PESKY IMP!"



... but I guess, I shouldn't have been that little brother in the first place...

<=><=> ~ <=><=>

"Mom! Dad! Look! I won the essay writing contest!" My big brother Cahaya exclaimed, showing his certificate to our parents with full of excitement.

"Oh, Cahaya, my favorite smart boy!" Mother cheerfully said, giving my big brother a warm hug. "You'd never failed to make us proud!" She added, as she tightened the hug more with a sincere smile plastered on her face, my big brother gently returning the hug back as well while smiling widely.

Soon, Dad joined the hug as well. "Keep it up, my son! I'm proud of you!" He proudly stated, patting my big brother's back gently.

"Don't worry, Dad. I'll make sure I'll get more than a certificate." Big brother Cahaya said, grinning.

As for me, I was just watching them by the stairs, with full of jealousy. I gloomily stared at my family who were so happy with just... them... without me. Seems like they've forgotten about me...

No... they just don't care about me at all...

Just by completely looking at them, I feel like they're a perfect family, even without me in it. My Dad, working on a successful business, my Mom, being the housewife who has done a great job taking care of the family and my big brother, which is just I think... is the definition of 'perfect' for the family.

I mean, he's smart, he's a successful brother as well, so fine and well-organized, and not to mention, so popular in school where girls just wanted to crave for his attention. He's so perfect, even some people are so jealous because of his remarkable self. But, they had no clue about his other side, that other side where he only just wants the fame, just being all too pride to himself, and just wants to become wealthy.

To be completely honest, I, too, wanted to be popular and rich but, I knew that those things wouldn't make me happy at all. Now, that's just being too boastful. And I'd already decided, I don't like either of those. Instead, I just want to live a happy and peaceful life, with my family, and friends (if ever I have one soon...).

Those things that I've mentioned, makes me feel happy. But, when will my family truly accept me for who I am? When will they love me unconditionally? When will they treat me like I'm part of their family even though... I am?

Why do I feel like I don't belong in the family...?

Do I still have hope for this...? Or am I waiting again for something that is unlikely to happen? What choice do I have? I feel like I can't do anything about it, to make all those happened in just a snap.

"How about let's go outside right now? My treat!" Dad suggested, making Mom and my big brother smiled widely.

"Okay!" My big brother exclaimed, already going towards the door. "Come on!"

Not for long, the three of them left the house cheerily, without even asking me if I can go too. I guess I'm really invisible to their own eyes... Heh, that hurts, so much. I can feel that sharp pain in my chest...


... but I got used to it...


Don't worry about it! I'm okay! Really! Haha! I mean, everybody even felt that agonizing pain, right?

It freaking hurts. I feel like I'm getting stabbed in the heart multiple times. But, I'm trying to bear that pain. Again, don't worry about it! Don't worry too much about me! I'll be fine, alright?

Fine...

Fine..

Just...



Fine.

====================================


I'm sorry for not updating lately. I just really don't have the time to write, and PTs, homeworks and tests are piling up in our schedules. I'm trying my best to find time to update again.

I'm very, truly sorry guys. School's just becoming stressful nowadays. I really wish I have the time to update like before. But since there were a lot of suspensions that happened in the past, here we are, trying to catch up with some lessons and missed sessions.

Not to mention, there will be Saturday classes for us, and totally, I don't think I have the time to update.

Again, I deeply apologize again for being inactive and I'll try my best to update again.

See you guys! Love yall! And take care! 💞💕

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