Psycho 2 - 백현

Chapter 14

How is it even possible? Why can't they find you? The police really sucks. They don't do anything. On every poster you saw of yourself you wrote hints, but they still didn't  find you. Baekhyun was away a lot, but you didn't mind. He's an idol offcourse. He has possibilities to take care of. He has to train his magic voice even more than before. You did miss him. This week was your second week as his girlfriend. It felt good and that's why you always come back. Everytime he's away, you escape, but you alwasy come back. You don't want to loose him. He doesn't even know you escape almost every day. You always return before he's back.

You sighted and looked at your food. He cooked something delicious for you before he leaved the house, but it didn't go down to your stomach. You couldn't even eat one spoon of the soup. You didn't had appetite. It really sucks to have this dilemma. You want to be free, but you want to be with him. You were slowly getting depressed and you know it. It's time to change some things. You need to do something else now. Something what makes you happy, but what is it? You lost all your courage to do some simple things. It felt like your life wasn't good anymore. There need to change something.

You walked outside. The weather wasn't good and it was slightly raining. The jacket you grabbed wasn't yours. It was Baeks, just like all the clothes you had. He promised you to buy some girl clothes, but he didn't had the time yet. Also... He loves to see you in his clothes. It gives him the feeling you are completely his.

You looked at the wall you were climbing over almost everyday and sighted before placing your right foot on the lowest brick who came out of the wall. Just like always you pushed yourself up after you were almost reaching the top. The trashcans were still there and you jumped off the wall. You did this a lot of times these two weeks, so you were confident. Too confident. Your foot slipped because of some tears of the rain who landed on one of trashcan wich made it wet and slippery. You fell on the ground. Hard. You cursed at yourself for being clumsy and looked at your left arm. There were bruices on it and it was slightly bleeding. Those tears you were holding back for so long now were still not coming.

How will you explain it to Baekhyun tonight? You sighted and stood up, placed the trashcan as it was before and walked with your hands in your pocket. The jacket wasn't damaged, so how could your arm be? Life is unbelievable and stupid. Sometimes... There is no explanation for things like this. Some moments you cannot explain no matter how hard you think about it.

You looked down and without knowing where you were going, you walked. Walking without destination, it felt good. The rain landed on your face and you blinked a few times. In some way, you could clear your mind. You know you need to be back before it's dark, but when you saw it coming, you didn't return. Keep on walking. If you could keep walking forever, you would do it, but unfortunately you can't walk away from your problems. They'll keep following you. When you reaised that, you stopped. You looked at the shape of the moon behind the clouds and shivered. Your clothes were wet of the rain and it was pretty dark now. You didn't know where you were, but you turned around. The moon was the light through the dark and showed you the pad. You started running back. You were gone to far, but you didn't regret anything.

You couldn't remember the way you went, let along all the streets you walked through. You didn't even remembered if you saw humans. It was like you walked without a mind or like you erased your memorie. You felt relaxed and a little happier. It felt good to be away of it all for a moment and now you were running back. You can't disappear like it is nothing. You already did it once, not like you chose to, but you still did. You cannot do it twice. That's not how it works.

As soon as you saw the familiar things you felt different. The way you felt now was different than the way you felt when you left. You felt more relaxed, more sure about what to do. You climbed over the wall and looked at the light from the kitchen. He's already home. You sighted and entered the house. "Where were you?" His voice sounded angry but concerned. You avoided his gaze by looking down and didn't say anything. The truth was that you needed a moment for yourself and took it. It helped and you returned, but you won't say anything. You'll keep your mouth shut.

As soon as he realized you weren't planning on telling him, he stood up. You felt his gaze glued on you, but you didn't gave a shit. He came closer and his arms found their way around you. His warm embrace comforted you and you let it all happen. It was like he knew you were on the edge. He could feel it. Knees started shivering, tears formed in your eyes. They were burning in them before finding their way over your cheeks. You began to sob and you let it all out. You let it all happen. He holded you and was there, wich was enough for you. His support was enough. He knows it isn't easy. He don't blame you for escaping. He'd probably do the same.