𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐆 ➪ 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑵𝑬, 𝑴𝑬𝑴𝑬𝑼𝑳𝑶𝑼𝑺, & 𝑰𝑴𝑨𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑿𝑿 | ✔︎

2.0

Sunday

I stare out my window, not saying a word. I didn't want to see anyone. I pull a hoodie on and some leggings. I look at my reflection in the window.

My hair was a mess and I hid it under my hoodie. Dried tears stain my cheeks and bags weighing my eyes down. I was a mess.

I unlock my door and quietly step out. I walk out and look at the living room couch. All three boys are passed out, sprawled everywhere. I shake my head and leave the apartment. I sigh and go and get some coffee.

As I wait for my coffee to be finished, I see something that catches my eye. I purse my lips.

Should I..?

No, it's wrong..

But the stress of the past few days urges me to do it.

I grab my coffee and make my way to the small shop. I enter and look at the cashier.

"I-I'll have a pack.." I stutter and fiddle with my thumbs. The cashier gives me a look and then hands me one, "ID please."

I show my student ID then pay for it and a lighter. I nervously make my way back to the café and sit down. I put the pack in my pocket and finish drinking my coffee. I fiddle with the lighter, the realise, I have never used one before.

I swallow a lump in my throat and put away the lighter, trying to forget about the pack of cigarettes. I throw my coffee cup in the bin and try to get some fresh air to clear my mind.

I sit on a bench in the park and stare at the ground. Everything has been so confusing. The boys. Jayden. That kiss. Will was right. Jayden was a bad person...right? Why do I still want to be friends with him?

I close my eyes and count to five. Just, calm down, Charlie, calm down..

But the feeling of the cigarettes in my pockets felt like a weight dragging me down. The urge to take them out and smoke one to relieve the stress almost got to me. Until I saw a little girl run by, and I think 'Not here..there're kids..' .

I sigh and get up, walking back to the apartment block. How did smoking feel like? Should I be doing this? My heart is telling me it's wrong but my brain is shouting at me to do it. I close my eyes in frustration and grip my hands tightly together.

A ringing in my ear starts and I feel tears well up in my eyes as the ringing gets louder and louder.

Then suddenly, I'm in the arms of someone familiar. The warm embrace calms me down and I slowly open my eyes. "A-Alex..?"

"You alright, Char?" he asks worriedly. I stare into his eyes and grip onto him.

"W-What're you doing.." I start, but Alex cuts me off. "I'm gonna get some Panadol for the lads, they're super hungover..and so am I." he chuckles

"Go back to the apartment, Char. You don't look so good." he smiles slightly then continues to walk to the pharmacy.

He didn't notice the lump in my pocket. Nervously, I look back at Alex's figure.

Could I really do this to Alex?

Could I really do this to the boys..?

The stress starts to come back so hastily, I take the pack out and take a cigarette out. My hands shake as I also take the lighter out.

I sit down on a bench in front of the apartment building that had a bin with and an ashtray, and put the cancer stick in my mouth.

I sweating, and when I hold the lighter to the end of the stick, my hand was trembling. I light it and hold the cigarette in between my fingers.

I draw a long breath in and pull the cigarette away. I blow the smoke out and cough.

It tastes like fucking shit. But it's  addictive.

I take another long draw of the cigarette and cough. I sigh, but slowly feel more calm and lean back in the bench. I leave the remains of the cigarette in the ashtray next to me and then take another one out. I light it up and take a drag out of it. This time, I didn't cough.

I spent the next few minutes smoking outside the apartment and completely forget about the fact that Alex went out. So when someone takes the pack of cigarettes out of my hands and grabs me by the shoulders, I look up in shock and confusion.

"Charlie what the fuck are you doing!?"

Alex's POV

I walk back to the apartment, still thinking about Charlie. I find myself smiling at the thought of her. She's just so beautiful and amazing. I like, no, love her so much.

My train of thoughts stop though, when I see someone who looks like Charlie smoking. No. That is Charlie. The grip on the pharmacy bag I've been holding loosens and I feel my heart drop and shatter into millions of pieces.

What is she doing..?

I quickly walk up to her and take the pack of those disgusting things out of her hand. I grab her by the shoulders, tears forming in my eyes. "Charlie, what the fuck are you doing!?" I shout, gripping her shoulders tightly as she looks up at me with wide eyes.

I see tears roll down her cheeks as she tries to open her mouth to speak.

"Why do you have these!? Where, no, when did you get these!? You know these can fucking kill you!" I choke out, the tears starting to come out. I pull her into a hug and sob in her shoulder, holding her soft, brown hair that I never wanted to let go of. I can't lose her. Not now. Not later. Not ever.

"Charlie..please tell me you'll stop..please tell me you'll stop.." I cry, trembling at the thought of losing one of the best things in my life.

I feel her grip my hoodie tightly as she buries her face in my chest, "I'm sorry Alex, I-I don't..I don't know why I did it.." she sobs, her grip tightening each second.

I pull away from the hug and wipe the tears from her face, cupping her cheeks and staring into her eyes. "Promise me.." I whisper, resting my forehead against hers.

She stares back into my eyes as another tear rolls down her cheek. Charlie places a hand on mine and closes her eyes,

"I promise, Alex.."

*****

☕︎ Enjoy this chapter, so glad I could get this out today! I look forward to seeing you in the next one! ☕︎

- Val ✌︎