CNCO Imagines

I Shouldn't Have Left You | Richard

"We should break up."

He refused to meet my eyes as he uttered those words to me. Silence filled the air between us for a few moments as I tried to find my voice. "What?" I choked out, still not believing what he had said. "Please don't make me say it again, (Y/N)." He rubbed his eyes. "I don't... I don't understand. When did - "

"It's not gonna work between us. We're.. not gonna have as much time to see each other and we'll both be busy with our schedules." He was leaving for tour in a few days and I was staying here for work. "No, don't say that." I spoke. "We've been together for 2 years, Richard! We've stayed by each other's side whenever - "

"You don't think I know that?!" He exclaimed and sighed. "I can't.. I can't be with you." I shook my head as I felt tears wanting to slide down my cheeks. "Why not? Why now?" I asked him. "You deserve someone who's going to be there for you. Someone who won't leave for the majority of your time together and someone who will love you like I can't..."

I can't speak. I sat frozen in place looking at him. "I can't give you the love that you deserve. So please... we have to break up." He bowed his head and at that moment, I felt my heart literally break. I stood up, grabbed my purse and phone and walked towards the door. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N).."

I scoffed as tears finally fell from my eyes. "Yeah, me too. I'm sorry for wasting my time on someone who was not willing to fight for our relationship."

That was a year ago. He left to go on his world tour with the rest of CNCO, while I stayed here. I can't believe it's been a year already. I know his family and friends are planning his welcome home party because while we were together, I'd help them too. I would help cook, clean and decorate their home. They've tried inviting me to go, but I would politely decline because I'm not planning on going for obvious reasons.

When he left, I gave him back the stuff that stayed in my house back to his. It doesn't belong to me. I cleared out all the things that reminded me of him and redecorated my home.

"(Y/N), c'mon! We're planing on going out tonight! Let's go." My friend Cristina tried to convince me, but I shook my head. "You guys go ahead and go without me. I'm not feeling it tonight." She sighed. "You've been working really hard lately. Let's go dancing, c'mon!" She tried again and I just chuckled. "No, seriously. I'll just be bringing you down. I just wanna have a night in to myself, that's all. You go out and have fun. If you need me to pick you up, you just give me a call." I gave her a smile, and she nodded accepting my answer. "Okay."

I followed her and she stood up and walked out the door towards her car. She opened her car door and turned to look at me. "Last chance?" She smiled and I laughed. "Go." I smiled, waving her off. "Okay okay! I'll see you tomorrow." She got in her car and drove off. I walked back inside my house and closed the door. I made my way over to the kitchen and started to make myself some coffee. Not too strong, not too weak.. just right. Grabbing my cup of coffee, I walked into the living room and placed my cup on the small table. I grabbed the remote and turned on the tv, switching over to Netflix. "What do I feel like watching today?" I mumbled to myself.

'Avengers'? Hmm.. not feeling it.

'Stranger Things'? Seen it.

'Lucifer'? Not today, I guess.

'Supernatural'? I love my boys, but no.

'One Day At A Time'? You know what? Yeah, actually.

I clicked on an episode, grabbed my coffee and a small blanket and cuddled myself up on the couch. There's a small part of me that wished I had gone out with my friends, but at the same time I didn't. I just wanted a lazy day in and be in comfy clothing. As some time had passed, I heard my doorbell ring. Thinking it was probably one of my friends, I walked over to the door and opened it with a smile on my face. "I told you guys, I didn't feel like - oh..!"

There he was, stood right outside of my doorway. The man who broke my heart a little over a year ago. "Hey." He gave me an awkward smile. "Um.. hey." I responded. "Do you.. do you have a moment so we can.. talk?" He asked me. I cleared my throat and looked back inside my apartment. "I.. if this is about your stuff, I already gave them back to you. They're in your house already."

"No it's not about that. I.. I just really need a moment to talk with you." It was quiet between us. "We can still talk, right?" He asked me. I'm over him, right? Someone once said that it's easy to get over someone by not seeing them everyday, but to really get over them is to see them and not feel heartbroken anymore.

"Uh yeah sure.. just, come on in." I opened the door for him and he walked inside. "Thank you." I closed the door and turned to face him. "Do you want a cup of coffee?" I asked. "I don't want to impose."

"No, it's no big deal really. I can just make another cup." He then nodded his head and I walked over to the kitchen to start another cup of coffee. After a few moments, the coffee was done and I poured him a cup. I made my way back over to the living room where he was at and saw that he was observing some pictures on the wall. Our photos of us together used to be hung up there. "I have your cup right here." He turned and faced me, a small smile forming on his lips. "Thank you." He held the cup in his hand and turned back to look at the pictures. "You redecorated." He stated.

"I had to." I made my way over to my couch and sat down, as he followed after me. "I didn't see you at the party." I grabbed my cup and took a sip. "You know why I didn't go." You could cut the tension between us with a knife.

"(Y/N) - "

"Richard - "

We both started and looked at each other. "You start." He stated and I shook my head. "No no um go right ahead." He sighed and looked down at the cup in his hands. "I'm.. I'm sorry." His voice was so soft, I almost didn't hear it.

"Mi amor - "

"(Y/N)." I cut him off. "You can't call me those pet names anymore, Richard." He nodded and his jaw clenched. "You're right. I'm sorry. It's just um a force of habit, I guess..." He cleared his throat and started again. "(Y/N)..." he bit his lip and looked up at me. "I fucked up. I really.. really did. I let one of the best things to ever happen to me slip away from my fingers because I was afraid." His eyes started to water and he frowned. "I was afraid because I was falling in love with you and I've never been so whipped about someone before. It scared me.. it scared me how much of an impact you've made on me and I - "

"No.." I mumbled. "No, you can't come here and tell me that you loved me - "

"Love." It was his turn to cut me off. "What?" I asked. He gulped and slowly grabbed one of my hands. "I love you, (Y/N). I shouldn't have left you. I'm so sorry. Perdóname por favor."

"I cried for so long because of you. It wasn't fair, Richard. You wasted my time - time that I'll never get back. I loved you!" I exclaimed and he reached over and wiped away a tear from my face. When did I start crying? "It's my fault. Every time I performed on stage, I would look to see if you had gone to one of our shows to come and see us.. to see me. Then I would remember that I let you go and I'd have to sleep alone, wondering what it would be like to have you in my arms again. I was miserable, mi amor. I - I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from letting you go."

We gazed into each other's eyes. The coffee and the tv show long forgotten as we focused on this moment. His hand that held onto my own, slowly traveled up to my hair and played with a strand. "I missed you so much. I.. I want to give us another chance. I'll be yours, if you'll have me." His hand made its way to the side of my neck and cupped my cheek. "If you want me to stop and leave, I will. I'll go and I won't bother you again." Tears were slowly streaming down his face as he looked at me. "I love you, (Y/N). I'm sorry for barging in on you like this, but I just really needed you to know. You mean everything to me, and I was so stupid to not see that before. Can you please.. give us another chance?"

The ball is in my court. If I say yes, we'll be together again. If I say no, he'll leave and never bother me.

"Please, (Y/N)." He whispered. "Can we start again?"