Chapter 17
"Andrei, ano ba tayo?"
Alam kong ang lakas ng loob ko para magtanong. I can't help it. Naguguluhan na ako. Kahit naman masaya ako sa kung anong meron sa amin ngayon ni Andrei, hindi ko pa rin maiwasang magtanong.
I saw him freeze from where he's standing. Kahit ako ay kinakabahan. Kinakabahan ako sa magiging sagot niya. Ang totoo niyan, I wasn't prepared at all. Bigla lang iyong pumasok sa utak ko.
I saw Andrei slowly turning his body to face me.
"Lei..." He called and my heartbeat doubled. Shet, mali atang timing 'to eh. Dapat hindi ako nagpadalos-dalos.
"Ah, never mind. Forget about it, Andrei," I said. "Umuwi ka na-"
"Lei, you're special."
He took a step. Dahan-dahan siyang naglakad papalapit sa akin, his face looking so serious.
"You made me smile whenever I feel like crying. You were there to cheer me up when I feel like no one's going to be there for me. I'm not just merely returning the favor. I don't know. At first, I wanna do it to pay you back for everything you've done for me. But lately, you became so important for me, Lei."
Why is he saying all these? Shet, am I dreaming?
And fudge, why do I feel like crying?
"I can't say I'm in love again. I'm still not sure about it, Lei."
I badly want to say something. Now is the right time for my brains to cooperate pero parang ayaw nila.
Kanina ko pa gustong ibuka ang bibig ko but whenever I do it ay agad sumisira. I just.. don't know what to say.
"I know this answer is not what you're expecting, Lei. But I don't want to lie to you."
"Ano-"
He suddenly held my hands. Just tight enough for me to feel how warm his palms are.
"You're an important person to me, Lei. And I think... I think I'm getting there."
Thankfully, I got the courage to look at him straight in the eyes. And I saw the sincerity.
"I should head back now. Sandali lang ang paalam ko sa parents ko," he said. He smiled sweetly at me and patted the top of my head. "Good night."
"Good night."
•●•
I don't know how I managed to go back to my room without screaming or anything. And thank God hindi nagtanong ang parents ko. I told them I didn't pass but it was fine. Alam ko namang expected na nila 'yon. Also, siguro they thought I bought the ice cream kaya hindi sila nagtaka bakit natagalan ako sa labas.
Pero hindi ako makatulog. I kept on thinking about what Andrei just said.
It's a good thing, right? He said he's getting there and I guess that's okay. Hindi naman ako nagmamadali. Hindi naman kasi nara-rush ang feelings. Gusto ko rin namang kung magkaka-feelings man siya para sa akin ay 'yong natural, hindi 'yong pilit.
I should be happy.
Sa gitna ng pagpapalit-palit ko ng posisyon sa pagtulog ay naka-receive ako ng text from Andrei.
Please have a good night sleep. I'll see you tom. 😊
Agad akong napangiti.
Yes, I should be happy.
Kinabukasan ay okay naman ang gising ko. I didn't pass pero nayakap naman ako ni Andrei kaya okay na siguro 'yon as consolation.
Gusto ko pa rin siyang makasama sa college. We searched for other ways that I can enter UP. Kaso kailangan mataas rin 'yong grades ko this year, which is a hopeless case kasi hindi naman talaga ako katalinuhan.
"Maybe you should apply for the waiting list," Andrei suggested. It was recess time. Kasama ko siya at si Angel na tumambay sa canteen.
"Malabo pa rin eh. Ang labong matanggap ako with my current grades," I replied. Natawa pa si Angel na sinimangutan ko lang.
"You should try," Andrei said.
"Try ulit? Tapos di na naman makakapasa?" Malungkot na sabi ko. "Hindi naman kasi talaga ako para sa UP eh. Nag-apply lang naman ako because of..."
"Because of?"
Hindi niya nga pala alam na dahil sa kanya.
"Because of my dreams!" Medyo napalakas na sagot ko. Humagalpak na sa tawa si Angel.
"Sorry, sorry. Mukha ka kasing tanga," she mumbled.
"What's your plan then?" Andrei queried.
"Mag-aral nang mabuti sa ibang college? Tapos after taking some units, transfer sa UP? Pwede naman 'yon diba?" I mumbled. Hindi na talaga ako sure sa mga pinagsasabi ko eh.
"You need to get outstanding grades for that to happen. Pero I heard, they're strict."
"Edi mag-aaral na lang sa ibang University! Ayaw nila akong tanggapin eh," malungkot na sabi ko. Hindi na nga ata matutupad ang pangarap kong makasama sa iisang University si Andrei. Bakit pa kasi nag-UP 'to? Bakit kasi ang talino nito? Di ko ata reach.
"Tanggapin mo na lang talaga destiny mo, girl," Angel butted in. "Sama na lang tayong maghanap ng University na tatanggap sa atin."
Pero paano si Andrei?
"Maybe you should. Magkikita pa naman tayo," sabi naman ni Andrei.
"Talaga?" Paninigurado ko.
"Yeah. I can go wherever you are if I have time. And you can come to UP whenever you have time. Or we can meet somewhere," he suggested.
"We're still friends by then?" Parang tangang tanong ko na tinawanan naman ni Andrei.
"Of course. I'm not the type of person who forgets about his friends."
"Sabagay," I murmured.
"And speaking of friends, I can't hang out with you later. May napag-usapan kaming lakad ng ibang kaibigan ko. Is it okay with you?"
Hala siya, bakit siya nagtatanong? Is he asking for my permission?
Medyo matagal-tagal rin ata akong na-mental block dahil sa huling sinabi ni Andrei kaya siniko na ako ni Angel, who's chuckling right now. Panay bulong pa siya ng 'natatanga na naman si Ate girl'.
"Ah, oo naman!"
"Thank you," he smilingly said. "I'll to the SC Office now. May aayusin lang. I'll be back later."
"Okay." He even patted my head gently again before walking away. Sinusundan ko pa siya ng tingin while smiling. I think I'm going crazy.
"What was that?" Biglang tanong ni Angel. Nanlalaki pa ang mga mata niya na may halong panunukso. "OMG, girl. Ano 'yon?!"
"Chill lang, pwede?"
"Huwaw. Paano mo nagagawang mag-chill sa lagay na 'yan? He just treated you like..." She paused for a while. "Wait. Are you his girlfriend na?!"
"Ha? Hindi."
"Nanliligaw na ba?"
"Hindi rin."
"Eh ano?"
"He's getting there daw."
"Ha?"
"Sabi niya hindi pa daw siya sure kung in love na siya. But he said he's getting there," I replied. "It's a good thing, right?" I inquired, shifting my gaze at her.
"Shet ka girl. That's a good thing!" She responded happily. "Ikaw na, Anne Lei. Ikaw na talaga! Pero pray ka lang na di bumalik 'yong Kat ha? Para wala nang sagabal."
Right. Kat. His ex.
Hindi naman siguro siya babalik. She can't leave and come back just like that. She can't hurt Andrei and take him back just like that.
She shouldn't.
