Blacklist // Taekook

Chapter 37: Never Meant

Jungkooks pov

'That's not what I meant. I never meant for you to get so angry. I never meant for you to want to disappear on me. I never meant for you to run away but I know I will do everything in my power to try and get you back and have a calm conversation.'

I watched as he slowly walked away from me.

'Could I lose you? Could I survive without you? Probably, but do I want to? Do I want to wake up and not have you next to me? Do I want to go to work and not see you there? The answer was no. I couldn't do any of that without you and I can't lose you again all because of my twisted words.'

I pushed my hair back and got inside my still running car before racing down the road and hopping out again to catch him.

I grabbed him and put both of my hands on his arms so he wasn't going any wear unless I let him go, hopefully.

"What do you what?" Taehyung spat.

"You told me how you felt and now you got to listen to me," I pleaded when he didn't answer so I continued. "I never meant for my words to come out like that. You're right that I never thought of anything and I was blinded by my anger. Like what did you expect? You left me and it hurt me dearly that I almost died a couple of times because I wasn't focused." I sighed.

"All I could do was think, was I the reason he could so easily leave? Did I not mean enough to make him to stay? Does he think I don't love him? Anything and everything would make me wonder if I was actually worth it. Did I ever deserve you? Is my past finally catching up to me? As my mental health went to shit my physical health never did. I spent hours in the gym so I was out on more missions cause of my build. That soon helped me become better. Before you came today I just came back from being undercover in a mafia. I had to go back to my old self. That is why I snapped so badly."

"I know this is not an excuse but I felt like you were threatening me so I put my guard up. I didn't expect things to go so badly but I know I can't lose you. Taehyung please let's just take a deep bre-" he glared at me, "okay never mind. If you don't want to breathe that's fine, you do you. But please," I went on both my knees, "please don't walk away. Please let's get out of this ran and spend the rest of the night talking. I know we can get past this, no doubt in my mind." I smiled and caressed both his hands with my thumbs as I was still on the ground. "Please, please say something, anything." I pleaded and looked deep in his eyes.

"Let's get in the car." He mumbled. It took me a second to register what he said but as soon as it clicked in my mind I stood up and lead him to the car. I opened it and he got inside with a deep chucked.

I closed the door and went to my side and got inside.

"Are we going to your house?" I asked feeling giddy.

"Yeah, we need to get some clothes. I think you have some stuff still over there." He mumbled and continued to look down at his hands.

I nodded and started driving to our original destination. I didn't put any music on as there was a party in my mind.

When we got to the elder's house, Taehyung was the first to get out and walked fast to go inside.

It was still raining but what's the point of running if I am already soaked.

I locked my car and walking towards the house just to find it's locked.

"Wow Taehyung," I chuckled.

"I'm grabbing toweled so you don't bring in the mud."

"But you walked in."

"Yeah but this is my house," I heard him say, I rolled my eyes and put my head against the door and waited for the door to open.