Harry's Hero (z.s.)

2

As Harry scrubbed his body in the shower, he glanced down at his blood marked forearms and ran his finger over the blade inscribed lines.

He flinched at the touch.

Harry: "ah fuck"

Harry knew it wasn't wise for him to do shit like that, but with all of the pain he held inside and wasn't willing to let go of, it was his only coping mechanism.

At the time, he'd only had three blade marks on his left risk, enough to place a band aid over and call it a day. He played it off by saying he sliced his wrist on the edge of a table, and all of the boys believed his lies.

Harry got out of the shower with puffy eyes, and thanked god that Niall was asleep.

He slid in bed, and hoped tomorrow was a better day.
...
In the morning the boys had to be at the show around 9 a.m. for sound check and wardrobe and everything before the show began. They all woke up at 6:00, got ready, and met each other downstairs for breakfast before heading to the venue.

Zayn, Liam, and Louis were all in great spirits ready to take on the day. Niall as well. But Harry on the other hand looked absolutely drained.

The bags below his eyes hung low, and he had no way of explaining why he was up until 3 a.m. He'd only gotten three hours of sleep, and that's what he was running on for the entire day.

When they met each other downstairs for breakfast the boys all greeted one another with hugs and fist bumps.

Liam: "Harry you alright, seem a little under the weather"

Harry put on a smile

Harry: "yeah I just...I didn't sleep well last night"

Zayn and Harry made eye contact and Harry quickly shifted his gaze to the ground. He knew Zayn suspected something.

Louis: "you lads excited for the first show tonight?"

All of the boys nodded in unison except for Harry, who seemed to be in his own little world...looking at his phone.

Niall: "Harry?"

Harry: "oh yeah, sorry. I'm excited. Just uh, texting my mum"

Little did they know he was looking up ways to cover up the marks he left wretched in his skin...in fear that it may get worse over the tour.

Louis: "hey mate what happened to your wrist"

Harry's face turned red and he tried to play it off by laughing.

Harry: "funny story actually. I was in the room last night and Niall had just fallen asleep. I was trying so hard not to wake him so I was sneaking around the hotel room and slit my wrist on the end of the table really hard. It just bled a little but I put a band aid on anyway."

Liam: "I'm honestly not surprised...you're pretty clumsy"

Harry felt relieved that they'd accepted his excuse and excused himself from the table. He said he wanted to chat with his mom on the phone, but in reality he wanted fresh air from the tense atmosphere his situation created inside.

He stepped outside and let out a huge sigh. A few minutes later he heard footsteps from the lobby.

Zayn: "hey haz"

Harry's nerves shot up, he knew zayn was suspecting something but he didn't wanna tell him. He couldn't. He didn't want zayn to watch and look after him. He didn't want to take up his life.

Harry: "hey z"

Zayn: "when did you fall asleep last night"

Harry: "it doesn't matter really, I jus-"

Zayn turned his entire body to face Harry

Zayn: "it doesn't matter? what do you mean it doesn't matter?"

Harry: "I can go days without sleeping, it's not that big of a deal"

Zayn: "clearly it is Harry because you are not yourself. I know that for a fact. So how much sleep did you get?"

Harry: "3 hours Z...that's it"

Zayn: "what the fuck Harry...why"

Harry: "I told you last night that I had a lot on my mind...I'm just struggling right now"

Zayn: "tell me...I can't stand seeing you act like this. You're...you're not you mate."

Harry: "I know that, and I'm really trying Zayn. Give me a little bit...I'm-I promise I'm trying okay?"

Zayn: "I want my best friend back...you were fine 2 days ago"

Harry: "that's because I was pushing that away...I hadn't given into the shit that's invading my fucking mind right now, and yesterday I couldn't take it anymore."

Zayn: "Harry talk to me about it...I-I'll try to help. I've got you through all of this shit mate. You know that"

Harry: "I know Z, and I promise...soon. I'll tell you soon, I just need time."

Zayn: "that's fine as long as you promise me that you'll sleep."

Harry: "I will do everything in my power to try...that's the best I can give you."

Zayn: "how long have you been staying up?"

Harry: "bout a month or so"

Zayn: "fuck. I'm switching Niall rooms tonight."

Harry: "no zayn"

Zayn: "why, we normally stay together?"

Harry knew that if Zayn stayed with him, all he'd wanna do is cuddle him and be his. He knew that he'd end up giving in and telling him. So he couldn't. He needed to be alone.

Harry: "I'll text you all night okay?"

Zayn: "it just makes me nervous Harry"

Harry: "this is why I didn't wanna say anything zayn"

Zayn: "I'm sorry I'm pushing...I won't anymore. Just update me, and if you can't sleep call me, text me, for fuck sake come and get me please"

Harry: "I will, I promise"

Just then the rest of the boys joined them outside and informed them that it was time to leave for the venue.

Louis: "hey boys everything alright out here?"

Harry: "yeah just got off the phone with my mum, she's coming tonight"

Liam: "always nice when your family's in the crowd"

Harry: "yeah for sure"

The boys loaded up in the car. Zayn and Harry in the back, Louis, Liam, and Niall in the middle, and the driver in the front.

Harry rubbed his eyes, aching for sleep. Zayn wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder to signify that he was always there. While the other three boy's sang and danced in front of them.