Make it with you (Completed)

11: shinobi naku

Chapter 11: shinobi naku
(v.) to shed silent tears so no one will know you are crying; lit. "ninja/stealth cry"

Type's POV

A night to remember, it was supposed to be that way. But as I entered Puifai's room, I felt like I don't belong here. She led me into her living room and went to make some tea.

Why do I feel guilty for no reason? Why am I so nervous? It's not as if she's the first woman to invite me into her home.

She placed the tea in the table, and went to get some cakes, but I am not hungry. As I was casually (read:nervously) sipping my chamomile tea, Puifai came into view. She was wearing a purple silk nightgown that accentuates her body perfectly. Her hair was down, framing her face and enhancing her features.

I should be aroused. I should be turned on by the amazing sight. I willed my mind. But there is an underlying thought, 'what should I wear to seduce Tharn.' I mentally slapped myself.

She slowly went close to me while maintaining eye contact. Then she sat on my lap, and I pulled her closer. Her scent overpowers my nose, jasmine, it seems. It is a nice smell, however, I am allergic to flowers and I prefer Tharn's——-

Tharn?

"It's okay if we do this, right? We're getting married anyways." She whispered into my ear seductively, but all I could think of is Tharn's pillowtalk and deep moans. Forget about Tharn! And so, I kissed her while she sat on my lap, my hands roaming at her back, aiming to remove the bra, while the other is on the base of her neck pulling her her closer.

As I held her back, I noticed that she already removed her bra. Our bodies touched, and I could feel her full breasts. My hand slipped into her thighs, caressing it while my tongue enters her cavern. She removed her nightgown, revealing her alluring body, but I was not attracted. normally, my member would already be erect, but it was as dead as a stone.

She kneeled and unzipped my slacks, touching the bulging member.

"It's big." She muttered while touching it. I was still wearing my boxers, mind you.

But Tharn's was bigger.

My boxers were removed, and she was holding my member and tried to blowjob me. She was licking the tip, then I pushed her.

"What's the matter, Type?" She asked, and I looked into her lust filled eyes.

I am not attracted to you and I don't want to have sex. I want to say, but kept the thought silent.

"I have a girl friend. I'm sorry." Well, it's technically not a lie since it has space, right? I put in my boxers and fastened the zipper of my slacks.

"What? I thought your father said that you are single?" Then she hurriedly wore her nightgown again.

"I was. Maybe I was single when you talked to him, but not anymore. I'm sorry." Hurt was evident in her pretty face and I felt so bad given that she showed her body with trust. And I broke it. "I should have told you. I'm really sorry..."

"You should leave." And without replying, I left.

Damn it Type! What is wrong with you! There was an opportunity, yet I threw it away. My body was reacting to Tharn just fine.

Am I——- gay?

It's Tharn's fault that he's so good in bed.

I stopped at the park in front of our unit and sat on the bench. What do I think of Tharn? If he's having sex with anyone right now, what would I do?

Nothing. Are you his lover?

What am I to Tharn? I imagine him having sex with anyone and I wanted to puke. I imagine him kissing someone with the same intensity as he did with me and my heart clenched and throbbed. I imagine him moaning other guy's name and I wanted it to be my name.

Suddenly, I remember what Techno said in high school, "There is a small boundary between love and hate."

Why can't Tharn be a girl and be my wife instead. Dad would kill me if he found out that I'm the wife.

I'M THE WIFE?!

No. I am just confused since it is my first time with a guy. Why did I even thought of having sex? I could just buy him what he wants. Stupid self.

Should I give it a try?

But you hate gays.

I don't hate Tharn.

So do you love him?

I—- no. I don't know. But I only know one thing, I only want Tharn for myself. Mine.

Do you think he loves you?

Only Tharn has the answer to that, and I'm going to find out.

I went into our unit as fast as I could and as I entered, all the lights were off. Tharn must already be asleep or he left. My heart was attempting to go out of my chest as I was standing in front of our bedroom door. I twisted the doorknob open and saw Tharn's sleeping silhouette facing the window. I sat at the limited space and went closer to hug him. I can smell him, and my stomach flipped 360 degrees. I remember this feeling quite well and it just confirmed my suspicions. I may have a crush on Tharn, just a little... But I can't. I don't trust gays? But Tharn makes me feel safe and I can tell him anything. I even shared my bad past with him, and he never judged me. He accepted and tolerated me. Or is he just plain nice?

"Tharn? Are you asleep?"

"I was. How was your date?" His voice is colder than ice, and I hugged him tighter. You're making me crazy, Tharn.

"I can't" I paused as the tears rolled down my cheek. "I can't have sex with girls anymore... I... ever since we had sex, all I could think about is... you." I burrowed my face into his back, hoping that the tears will not be noticeable.

"What am I to you, Type? Am I your friend? Fuck buddy? Fiance?"

"Dream on. We're not friends." I feel like choking, I never knew confessing could be this hard. Am I attracted to him or do I only like the feeling? "I want to try it. Being with a guy. Being with you."

"Lovers?" He removed my hands and went to face me. He lifted my chin so that were are looking at each other's eyes. I haven't drank coffee but I can't stop palpitating. "Let's get to know each other and fall in love then."

"Fall in love my ass." He just laughed and wrapped his arms around me while my head rested in his chest. I can't help but muster a smile.

After a long day, I think I'm home.