The Devil's Smile - Editing

𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧

𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 - 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗘

•••

I like to believe that I'm invincible.

Not in the way that I sniff so much coke that I think I can fly. I've never really been into snorting. Or cocaine for that matter.

But in the way that I like to think I'm unaffected by what goes on around me and what happens to me. That I just block it out and feel okay because like I said, it doesn't affect me.

Like my last relationship for example, I like to pretend that his controlling ways haven't affected me but I know that they have. In more that one way.

But I'm not stupid, I know that I've been affected by what happened at the weekend.

Part of me was terrified to see Oliver again.

Although, I couldn't tell if I was more angry at the fact that Oliver I don't even care about his last name anymore came onto me or because Charlie was right.

To be honest, part of me always knew Charlie was right but deep down I wanted to prove him wrong and go to the party simply because he said I shouldn't.

What a fucking mistake that was, now I'm probably going to be the laughing stock of the school.

I kept my head down until I felt his presence. It was like the room grew hotter by the second as all eyes were on me.

Oliver was here and walking around school with a face like a pitbull chewing a wasp, blessed with a bruise and broken nose that was soothing to my soul in a sick way.

It lessened the anxiety I had for retaliation but it didn't take it away.

Because it was wasn't quite calming enough, I decided that a trip to the gym later to use their treadmill and punching bag would be completely necessary even though my ribs still hurt like a bitch.

As well as smoking weed and half a pill of codeine each day. That too was completely necessary.

It felt good to almost forget about that perv trapping me between his grimy body and some random dudes ikea fucking wardrobe. It also felt good feeling like I'm constantly floating in comforting darkness so that I'm not so damn attached to my emotions.

I remember the first time I smoked weed, I was twelve, almost thirteen and had smelt it whilst playing with a soccer ball in the garden because the neighbors had sparked one up. I loved the smell and decided that getting high for the first time would time would be well spent with Charlie. I practically had to beg him to do it with me, not because he didn't want to smoke weed with me but he didn't want to "corrupt"  me.

Ah, pre-teen memories.

I tie my hair into a high ponytail and slip on my yeezys that Charlie had bought me for my 16th birthday.

He bought me them simply because I said they really weren't worth the hype and wanted to prove me wrong.

I still think they're not worth the hype, sorry Charlie but I'm a stubborn girl.

Speaking of Charlie, I haven't spoken to him since that day in the cafeteria but he still leaves smoothies in my locker and looks for me in the hallways, his way of letting me know he cares.