The Devil's Smile - Editing

𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗡

  𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗡 - 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡

•••

That one night with Charlie, Brooklyn, Noah and Alex was more fun than expected, Brooklyn and Noah got more drunk than i thought possible, so much so that Alex had to strip Noah down to his boxers after he spilt vodka and vomit down himself.

Brooklyn was more than ecstatic when i called her and told her to get her ass over to Charlies house and to not look homeless because the guys would be there, meaning Noah and Alex.

Although looking a mess is something that doesn't concern me around the three of them, i knew she'd be pissed if I didn't prepare her.

After seeing Brooklyn leave, it made me realise how much i do miss her and how much i miss having another girl around, because even though Charlie would talk to me about anything and i mean anything, periods included, he even made me teach him about them, side effects and all but it just wasn't the same.

I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed, after Brook left, I've been in a slump.

I haven't slept in two days other than a 30 minute nap when i fell asleep whilst doing some last minute homework in the library.

I used to love to sleep, I'd take every chance i could to fit a nap in. Sometimes even napping at brooklyns house when we we're supposed to be doing something fun.

But now it was as if a getting a good nights sleep was a battle against myself, with the only chance of winning being double dosing my prescribed sleeping meds.

At six AM i made the executive decision to turn my phone off, shut all windows and curtains, take some sleeping pills and crawl into bed in complete darkness. Letting myself wallow in self pity and depression and a sad spotify playlist, it wasn't the best idea but it worked. Occasionally.

The thought of  going to school brought a tightness in my chest and A panic attack in school didn't sound too pleasant, well at least to me it didn't.

I knew that the moment Charlie realises I'm not in school he'll text me to ask where i am, if I'm late and if I'm okay, but i just couldn't bring myself to text him prior. Reaching out felt like too much of an effort and not something i was willing to do. I just wanted to be alone for the moment.

Having a low social battery was becoming a bit of a personalised trait at this point.

I've always enjoyed my own company anyway.

•••

I slept until almost seven PM, I didn't sleep nearly as long as i wanted to, through the night would've been ideal. Or you know to not wake up in general.

But beggars can't be choosers and all that.

Cooking something sounded like too much of a chore and quite frankly i was still feeling fatigued from the pills so i stuck to a bottle of water and decided that would suffice.

I situated myself on the couch in front of the tv and wrapped myself up in a blanket before switching on the tv and put on old Americas Next Top Model re-runs and allowed myself to drift back off into a dreamless, drug induced sleep.