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I FELT LIKE a child that had just thrown a tantrum

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I FELT LIKE a child that had just thrown a tantrum. I lay on my stomach, spread across the queen bed with my cheek angrily squished up against the pillow. The ocean was still rough as I stare at it through the open window with the white sheers blowing in the wind. 

I could still feel the hangover holding onto my brain for dear-life, so I was focusing more on that than my embarrassment. I don't know why I'm embarrassed. Part of me knows that it was a good idea to confront Emily. 

It was just getting too much. The clothes, the copying little things I say or do, and now my hair. It's like she wants to be me or something. I don't have a fucking clue as to why. I don't even want to be me. 

But, I was more angry at myself than her. I let her get under my skin like that. It wasn't even a big deal and yet I let it affect me so much. I don't know why. Emily was a good person deep down, I knew that. Plus, she's gotten much closer with everyone over these past couple weeks so now she's their friend as well. 

I guess I was just afraid that Chase was lying and that there was something going on between him and Emily. I didn't want to ruin the chance of Chase finally moving on and being able to have the life he so fucking deserves. But then I wanted to be evil and selfish and keep him to myself. I wanted to stop making sacrifices for once. 

Why is this so fucking hard!

Maybe it was a mistake at the hair salon? Ugh, I hate that I keep tossing up between trusting her and not. I don't want to shove her away but I also know I need to keep my guard up...just for now.

There was a knock at the door and I groan while pushing up to look over my shoulder. 

"Mom, I told you I'm tired—" I pause when I see my cousin's head poking through the gap of the door, "Oh, it's you." 

"Wow bitch, love the enthusiasm." Spencer chuckles as I sit up, fold my legs underneath me and turn to him. I run a hand through my hair as Spencer continues into the room and quietly shuts the door behind him. 

"Shit, sorry Spenc. This hangover is making me super cranky." I apologise as Spencer sits down on the edge of the bed, close enough the my knee was touching his thigh. Spencer, despite his chaotic vibe, often put me at ease when he was near. He was a great cousin. 

"Really? I so couldn't tell by the way you ripped into Emily just before." Spencer says sarcastically as I groan for the umpteenth time and lean forward, my forehead meeting his bicep. 

I squeak, "Was I too harsh?" 

"Oh no, darling you weren't harsh enough." Spencer chuckles as I pull back and glare up at him. He then pats my head, "I'm just kidding...but you did make her cry." 

"Shit. Did I?" My face drops as guilt starts to eat away at me. 

"Yup, it was amazing." Spencer says as I whack his arm. He flinches, "Okay, okay, not in the joking mood I see. She managed to calm down and she kept apologising, she didn't mean to upset you so much. She's been talking to Chase while you've been up here in snooze-land." 

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