Lucien

•34•

She sat in a pink room, surrounded by colorful toys and lace, alone.

Her palms felt sweaty, and the racing of her heart was not unfamiliar.
Her hands had pulled more than a few strands of hair loose.

This was her own fault, somehow, it had to be.

Lucien was gone.

Alphas never leave their freshly marked mates within such a short time period of having met.
After the incident involving a young female pack member, Maia was tucked away with Lucien inside, until suddenly, he left. No explanation, and until their bonding was complete...
she would remain disconnected from the pack link.

Her Noona was supposed to have visited, yet her presence was denied. Maia had heard it beyond the thick wooden doors which separated her from the comforting scent of the only living relative she had left.
The arguing voices faded, as her Noona was forced to wait until she was formally allowed to meet the "Luna".

She didn't feel like a Luna.

Maia glanced at her trembling hands, pale and shaking, damp with nerves she couldn't explain.
Bambi was no longer available readily for Maia to join, and she felt oddly isolated.

Biting her lip, and remembering the words of Lucien clearly, Maia debated.
For the first time in a long time, she felt conflicted to break a rule.
Disobey. Take off.
She had read the books left by the past Alphas and Lunas of White Lily.
Strong wolves, taking up leadership and persevering for greatness.
What had she ever persevered for? Except possibly avoiding her mate- how easily was that thrown away?

Maia flinched when her wolf growled a complaint.

It was sinking in, the novelty wearing off, that she was not comfortable.
Hadn't been comfortable since she lost everything. Wasted away in grief. Hid away, begging the Goddess to relieve her of the curse which follows her.
Red eyes always following her in her dreams.

"Don't leave. I will be back as soon as I possibly can. Can you do that babygirl?"

"Yes Daddy"

She had answered so easily. Submissively.
She read the texts. No Luna was a weak woman. Was she being strong enough? Did she even qualify? Could a Luna like stuffed pink dolphins and strawberry milk tea?
Maia had never taken classes with the warriors like everyone else- never did much else besides Sunday morning cartoons and gardening.

She didn't have a garden here. It was all artificial. She couldn't sink her toes into soil, listen to laughing pups in the distance, smell her roses, laugh with Bambi.
She was trapped, and her chest continued to feel claustrophobic. Her heart beating against the walls of her chest, aching for escape.

She shot off the bed, tapping bare feet speeding through the rooms until a small handheld cellphone rested in her hands.
She debated again. Rethought her actions again. Startled herself because why was she thinking so much?
It was just a call. No rules were being broken. A simple call.
Her fingers typed the number in, before the cool texture of soft metal touched her ear.
A soft ringing went on for only a few seconds before a warm voice came onto the other end.

"Luna Hailey?" When had her voice become so scratchy?

"Maia? My dear, it's been so long! How is mated life treating you? Luna duties getting too tough yet?" It was friendly chatter.
Even though Maia preferred the familiar, this was unexpectedly welcoming. They weren't entirely that close, but it didn't mean Maia didn't adore Hailey. The woman had sometimes been like a second mother to her.
She was always supportive and protective.

"Not... not well. I think I'm doing terrible-" a soft sob escaped when Maia realized tears began to fall.
Of course, she was a terrible Luna. Allowing a pack member to become injured? This wouldn't have occurred had she behaved like a responsible adult and qualified Luna.

"Oh no, honey what happened?" It was like the key to opening a flood gate. Maia broke down.

"H-he- he hurt a pack member... because they questioned my abilities... I'm not good enough... I'm too weak" it wasn't a lie.
Maia didn't pretend she was anything more than what she was all those years ago. A helpless runt.
The taunting eyes and pitiful words of her home, because why did only Maia get to live?

"Now you listen here. Don't you ever say that again" the harsh words of Hailey were hard to bring about, but the woman was stern with Maia.

"There is no such thing as a qualified Luna. We have to make mistakes before we can grow, and baby, you need to make a thousand more mistakes before you can even begin your journey... if you think you're weak then trust your wolf. Don't shut her out Maia. She is with you for a reason"
Maia's tears slowed, as her mind began to leave traces of a dull ache.

Hailey was right, her wolf was struggling inside of her.
Maia did push her back. For years she had suppressed her wolf because it was the only way to stop the negative from flooding her until she lost her sanity.
Maybe she did need to lose it, or else she might lose Lucien too.
He was family now, her heart felt it. She had more family now, but she couldn't be the same as before... because she might be forced to witness another tragedy.

"Okay" it was weak, just like she felt, but Hailey's encouragement was sincere. Maia could tell, just like she knew when Jerry would outsmart Tom. It was a gut feeling.

When the call ended, Maia sank to her knees, steadying her breathing as she slowly lowered it.
Lowered the wall blocking the other half of her- the inhuman side. The beastly side, which even the weakest wolf possessed.

It wasn't how she expected, as the headache faded, and something between tranquility and acceptance flooded her senses.

She could feel her now, inside of her very soul.
It felt...

Exhilarating.

Letting the phone clack against the hardwood flooring, Maia didn't try to fight the grin overtaking her features.
It was a sugar high- or something close.
It was less lonely, less isolating. She wasn't alone. Even as only silence enveloped her.

Maia wanted to go. To wonder and explore. She wanted to stop hiding.

Maia wanted to be a real Luna.

All on her own.

"Okay... maybe I'll take Richie" Maia muttered, scrambling off the floor and moving to dress in more comfortable clothing while grabbing the stuffed dolphin in her arms.

She was going to break a rule.