i forgot the melody • 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙠𝙤𝙤𝙠

𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓶 XXIII

"What do you mean not official yet?"
Chesca, with her usual im-so-not-proud-of-you look. She rolled her eyes at me for the nth time today.

"I mean.. we never talked about label."
I crossed my arms then puffed air. Come to think of it? What makes up Jed and I?

"Girl.. it's been months. Don't tell me you're going Maria Clara over that not so handsome brother of mine."

"It's not cute if the girl will be the one to ask right?"

"You're thinking about being 'cute' when half of your life you wasted loving him in secrecy?"

I scratched my chin.
"Point taken...but isn't it more of a reason for me to wait? Like I've been in a one-sided love for God knows how long, it's his turn to make the first move."

Chesca twirled some locks of her iron curled hair using her point finger.
"I'm just telling you... This chasing should be put to an end, be official already!"

I sighed hopelessly. After that conversation, Chesca jumped on her bed while her hands were fiddling with her phone. Still careful to not ruin her look for tonight's school festival.

My spirits were down since the start of the morning. First of all, Jed didn't text me his usual morning greetings, and I didn't caught him home. Chesca said he went off early to practice with the boys. I started questioning how much time does it cost him to greet me a single message.

Then Chesca asked me to tell her about me and Jed, which is.. quite a lot. You see, 2 months passed and it's nothing like before. Not in a bad way, alright.

Those scenarios that I make up in my head, one by one, comes to reality. It's so surreal that it's hard to believe.

Although something's bugging me. Jed may think he's good at keeping secrets and hopes I don't notice but he's been off. Most of the time, I catch him staring at nowhere with a blank face, sometimes on his phone. I tried asking him but he doesn't give me direct answers, instead he just jumps in for a hug, tickle and laugh with me then ramble about how his day went.

I can't keep up with the fact that something's bothering him, something I got no idea for a fact. One time, I heard him talking to the phone, I remembered having chills because of his tone.. to me it's unfamiliar. I heard him calling the caller 'mom' maybe he doesn't have a good relationship with his parents, after all, they didn't even grow up with them. I can't be sticking my nose to his business so I kept myself quiet, patiently waiting for him to speak himself.

I jolted up when I heard the phone ring, for a while I thought it was mine and it's Jed calling, however when I heard Chesca said 'hello?' my face fell.

"Yes she's here with me."
Chesca looked at me so I smiled timidly.

"It's Jed. He wants to talk to— huh? What? I thought?— oh alright alright."

My frown deepened when she turned her phone off.
"He said his phone died, he's using Jeno's phone... But then he said something came up so you two should just talk later."

I nodded lazily.

Am I upset? About what exactly?

Is it because I feel like Jed is hiding something? Is it because I miss him? I can't be this childish...

However, my heart really isn't happy right now. Chesca noticed that so she grabbed me by the wrist.
"Let's have an ice cream date."

•••

"Yes, chocolate please.."
I was on my way to Chesca when I saw a familiar face approaching me.

He smiled at me,  recognizing my face as well.
"Lucia.. am I right?"