i forgot the melody • 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙠𝙤𝙤𝙠

epilogue

"Finally!"

"Our baby boy got the balls now, huh?" Charlie slightly nudged my stomach. The guys are preparing for the barbecue while Chesca is fanning the grill. And Lucia.

My Lucia. She's with the house helpers instructing them to fill the house pool.

Wasn't it just yesterday when she's the moon to my sun? It all seems fast, it felt unreal and surreal.

"Lucy is pretty adorable, yeah?"
I remembered one day Finn suddenly blurted out. It caught my attention for a lot of reasons.

First, I like Lucia. Second, Finn is speaking like a teenage boy crushing on someone. It annoys me.

"She's kind, I'd be glad to have her as my sister."
Now even Charlie is fond of her? What's with these guys?

"Man, you look like you're having stomach problems. What's with the grim look?"

Finn backed off a little after I gave him a glare. It's not like me to be easily annoyed but somehow when it's Lucia involved, I get all sensitive. Not that I have the right to, because I can't even speak properly with her.

Our first conversation must've been when I found her scrolling through my embarrassing childhood clips. God forbids she saw those naked photoshoots of my innocent baby self.

"Abayu."
I heard her mumbled. 

I ran away not because I feel shy, well that's one thing, but mainly because she indirectly said "I love you" and although I know she's clowning me I can't help but feel like a lovesick puppy.

"Dude you're performing that tonight?"
Finn looked at the music sheet I was holding. It's a song I wrote and composed, I'm planning to sing it tonight. Finn made an "okay" gesture after he finished reading indicating he liked it

That night I was even more excited to perform. I made sure to bring my self-composed song for her, it's not bad to take small steps, right? I will do my best tonight.

Lucia is usually early, until the last minute my mood was sour. Did she forgot our gig tonight? Why is she not here? Did something happen? Is she seeing someone else?

The band prepared, after a while we started performing. Much to my dismay, I didn't saw Lucia. I saw Chesca, my sister on the crowd but Lucia is nowhere to be found. Out of frustration, I sang "Tonight" by FM Static when it's supposed to be the last one. I felt disheartened when I realized she's still not present. I abruptly stopped singing, quite unprofessional I might add, but I don't want to perform with half my heart.

I made an alibi that I'm not feeling too well, truth is, I just went to get drinks. After a few bottles, the bar started to suffocate me so I decided to breathe fresh air outside.

My mind was hazy from the drink I randomly picked, if the Lucia in front of me is real or not, I am not certain. I found myself singing my song in a slurry voice, I need to deliver this message to her. Will she get the hint?

"If love's a movie why doesn't it end?
I'm a coward, a goner, honey are you upset?
If I try to reach out, will you give me your hands?"

Lucia, please. Grab me out of this shithole that is my miserable life.

--

"You're nice."
Bullshit, Jed, compliment her properly!

"You think I'm nice? Thanks."

Is she weirded out? Come on man, talk to her properly, I thought we're brave now?

"No, I mean your face is nice."
Fuck me. To hell and beyond.

"You look nice."
There! It's not even that hard.