Rumors

Brown Eyes -4

Before Harry I was no one. I was just a sad girl. I thought that my feet were too big for my body, I thought that my nose was too big, I thought that I couldn't be anyone. But that was before I met him. Now I'm Happy, something I thought I could never be. I don't think about the things I hate about myself. I think about the things that make me happy. The smell of coffee in the morning, the roses blooming outside of my managers office, the fact that I'm still breathing. And  It hurts to like Harry like this. To not tell him how I really feel. To not tell him all the little things I like about him. When I'm all alone with Harry we're best friends, but when we're in public we're in a relationship. It's so confusing. I try so hard not to like Harry, because when I'm alone I crumble. I have to be strong. Last night was the hardest. Once I got to the elevator I collapsed to the floor. Like gravity was greater than ever.

Today I'm in London. I'm recording a few tracks today in London. I've finished one song called "The Chain." It's about how these chains our managers tied to us is the only thing that keeps us together. And how about if he doesn't like me now, then he'll never love me.

The song I'm going to record today is "Brown Eyes." There's not much lyrics because I really wanted to get more instuments in it. I just really get into it. I close my eyes and add some Shalala's and I'm lo the music. I think music these days needs more instuments. Some chill songs that you love to listen to on repeat. It kind of had an old school feel to it witch I loved. I loved having song like that. I wanted the whole album like that, but they insist I have more up-beat songs. The song Brown Eyes is about never being sure if someone is lying. If you can see the lie in his brown eyes.

***

"Okay ready when you are, Cara," Ken, my sound engineer here, called from inside the booth. I started singing. 

"When you look at me with those brown eyes, What do you want to do? Do you have to have me? The way that I want you I want you? When you look at me with those brown eyes, What do you want to say? And are you just another liar? Will you take me all the way? All the way." I tried my best not to cry, but the water had already started to form in my eyes.

I had been recording this song all day. The instruments where what was taking so long. The drums weren't having enough sound. This problem had been going on all day.

"Okay, how about we call in a night, and continue tomorrow?" Ken asked me. He gave me this look as if he was asking me.

I sighed and said, "Okay, yeah. Let's get some sleep. It's almost eleven. Time to go to bed. You did a good job today guys," I told them as we where all heading out.

"You want to go out to eat some fast food or something?" Ken asked me as he held his stomach. 

"Yeah okay, but I'm buying," I told him.

"Deal," He laughed. I laughed too.

We went to McDonalds, and each got a burger and fries. We sat at a table, and ate.

"So those songs all about that Harry kid?" Ken asked.

"That Harry kid?" I asked with a slight smile on my face.

"Yeah. I have to act like he's not a big deal," Ken laughed as he ate a fry.

"Well, they are, but mostly just about life. 'And counting' is the next one I'm going to do. It's more acoustic," I told him. "I'm writing a very emotional song about Harry actually. I can't grasp myself to finish it,"

"You want me to help? I've helped write songs for a lot of other artists. I can help you," Ken offered. I think I might take him up on that one. 

"Okay, when can you help?" I asked.

"Tonight, tomorrow, a week. I'm working for you right now," He laughed. He wasn't wrong. I am paying him.

"Tonight would be great if you're not too tired. I really want to record it as soon as possible,"

Ken agreed, and we headed up to my place. The paps where around now. Ever since I started "dating" Harry they have not left me. They always make something out of nothing. I will have explaining to do, but Harry wont truly care. He doesn't love me the way I love him. I'm not dating him, and I'm faithful. 

"Okay so this is what I got," I picked up my guitar and started playing "Come in at midnight, say what you will. All the noise still applies. Carefully choosing my every word. Reading between all your lines. One question lingers on night after night 'Cause all I can think of is you in my mind. Please let me know if this love is returned, because then I'm forever yours! /Don't make me wait too long before you come around. Just close your eyes and hold me. I won't make a sound. You'll make me smile with hand in hand with the noise all gone. There's a place called love. Wont you take me there."  I stopped at the end of the Chorus, and let him have an opinion on it.

"This is slower than you usually do. I like it. It feels like it has more meaning. I like songs that you do like that," Ken said callas. "It's about Harry and I think that's what gives you advantage on other artists, love."

I smiled at Harry's name. I will never get tired of hearing his name. I love Harry. No matter what the press thinks, or what others think, I will love Harry. I will always love Harry. I love his brown eyes. He inspires me to play the music that I do. I found my sound.