Rumors

Mistakes -7

I'm in London again today to shoot my music video for Brown Eyes. Harry came back and helped me pack last night. He even drove me to my managers office. I wish that this was a fairy tale story. That he saw the beauty in me. Maybe he does and can't find the words to tell me. I swear there are times where I think Harry likes me, but then my thoughts are dismissed. 

I walked onto the set, and Entertainment Tonight was here. I said hi to my director that I had met yesterday when I got here. I walked over to the ET people.

"Hello. I'm Cara," I said to them.

"So what's the story behind the video? What is it all about?" She asked right away.

"The song is about that one person always making you unsure of their intentions. For me, it's hard to trust most people, but something tells me to trust him. But it brings light to what I want, and I tried to make the video kind of like that." I told her.

"So what is the theme of the video?" She asked.

"It's me going around all these really cool scenes, but my eyes are always on that one person. In this case that's the camera," I laughed a little. 

"So I heard you're a bit of a geek, so I really want to know; Batman or Superman?" She asked.

"Batman! Superman is just like the perfect hero, and it actually makes me mad. I like problematic," I smiled as I thought about Harry and I. How we used to be. I love the rush.

"Is that why you're dating Harry Styles?" She asked with a grin.

I thought about it, "No. I'm dating him, because I like him," I said with a grin.

"Aww!" She turned to the camera and signed off. "I really like Harry and you," She said. The camera was off.

"I do too," I smiled. 

"Can I tell you a rumor that's going around? I mean this can't be true, but... people say that Harry has been secretly seeing his ex," She whispered to me.

I thought about it. It could be true. Maybe it could. It's not like we're together or anything. Why don't I just tell him how I feel? "That can't be," I lied.

"You seem like a really nice girl. I'll find out for you. Okay?" She put her hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks. He can't be though. Right?" I smiled at the thought of my hands in Harry's curls, His smile, and the way he says my name. Maybe Harry wasn't such a bad guy. I thought back to the time when he put his hands on my hips and pulled me close.

"I'm sure you can make it work if it is," She gave me a hug. I hugged her back. "Bye," She left.

"Lets film this!" Bill, the director called out. I put on my best smile, and got to work.

***

The work was done for the day. I had to finish recording. "Hey Ken. You're coming to America with me right? I need you on this whole record. I'll pay you and everything," I said as I walked in. I got in the ISO and started singing right away. I sung the song Ken and I wrote together. I couldn't do the one I did with Harry. I was so worried that this was all fake. Every little shred of it.

I came up with a new song. I just got my guitar, and winged it. "Two hours left for me to get to bed. After that another day begins. I look at you as the sun will rise. I try to tell myself we're still just friends. It's alright as I close my eyes. and I wait for you, stay by you. I wont let you go. I know you're not alone when you're beside me. Hold tightly. Yeah it's all just pretend maybe after all we're just friends." I played every interment on that track.

Once the day was over Ken asked me something. "Are you okay?"

I don't know why I didn't want to hear that question. "I'm fine," I lied. I kept thinking about Harry and his Ex. Could he be with her now? I walked away. I can't live like this.  I can't live with this fear that Harry and I are a lie. I can't do this anymore. I need to know the truth.

***hours latter***

"Ken!" I called from the studio. Someone told me he was still here. I need to talk to him about coming to America.

"Hey, Cara. What's up?" He asked.

"Come to America with me. I need you when I record. You're the best of the best," I said.

"Okay," He smiled.

"Thank you!" I hugged him.

I backed up to see his face. He was smiling. So was I. I'm so glad I can have him. He truly is the best. I thought of Harry and I doing that song together. Then I thought about Harry and his ex. I didn't want to think about that. I leaned in, and kissed Ken.

Ken kissed back. He put his hands on my waist the way I wished Harry would. He kissed me,  and all I could think about is Harry. I wanted to cry. This doesn't feel right. I pushed away. Harry does love me right? I mean he didn't kiss me so he could just kiss someone for the fun of it. Right?

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"I wont tell anyone. Don't worry," Ken said with a small smile.

"Thanks. I don't know what came over me," I said.

"You need to talk to Harry," Ken walked away.

He was right. I called Harry. He answered.

"Harry I have a question," I said threw the phone.

"Ask away, love," He moaned in a sleepy tone.

"What are we?" I asked.

"We're going out for the media," He said.

"Yeah. So behind closed doors... we can kiss whoever we want right?" I asked. I need to know if he's mad at me.

"I guess so,"

"Are you dating your ex?" I asked.

"Yeah," 

"Oh. Okay. Thanks. Bye," I hung up, and felt this pain in my chest. I feel to the floor, pulled my knee's against my chest, and cried. I wish we were something more. In public we're this happy couple, but behind closed doors....we're a disaster. We're just friends I guess. Was this all for nothing?

Ken came up to me and asked, "Why are you crying?"

I got up, and looked at the soundboard. "Nothing. I just love Harry,"

"That kiss was nothing. Okay. It's fine," Ken made me face him, and then he gave me a hug. All I want is Harry.

"Thank  you for being a good friend Ken," I whispered in his sleeve that I was crying in.

"Any time, Cara," Ken stroked my back. 

"I should go. See you in America," I walked away, and closed the door behind me.