For Life || EXO D.O.||

Chapter 32: Permanent Sleep

Note: This chapter contains suicide attempts and drug usage attempts . Read it at your own risk.

Hye Joo

I left the restaurant after seeing the horrible sight in front of me. I regretted the choice of asking him to explain his side. Now that I look back to that day where Eun Shin Unnie told me that I shouldn't leave him, I think I made the right decision.

Sorry Unnie for not obeying your words. It's just that he is not right for me.

I cried until someone tapped my shoulder. I wiped my tears to face that person, none other that my ex. He brought out his acting skills and showed me an pitiful expression. No wonder why the ladies and grandmothers like him.

"Hye Joo-ya! What you saw is everything wrong! Listen to me, I ---" "Shut up you two-timer. I know what you're up to. You don't need to explain me. It was just a coincidence that I came there. Go have fun on your date. Congratulations for you and your girlfriend." I spat at his face and took the bus.

I returned to Jiah's house, where I currently stayed if I don't have work. Eddy was there to welcome me,but I didn't mind him and went directly to Jiah's room. I took some of her clothes and went to the shower. I spend my own time under shower to collect my thoughts until my fingers and toes went pale and pruney.

I finished my shower and sat on the bed thinking about what happened today. Of course, he moved on from me and I didn't. That was the only problem.

Since I loved him with all my heart, I couldn't find myself moving on. The memories still haunt me or make me smile sometimes. He is happy with his girlfriend but I can't be. This is all killing me and I don't know what to do. If only I could rest myself in a deep slumber where I will never wake up again.
.
.
.
Wait, that's a good one.

A deep slumber where you won't wake up again. Death. It sounds good. Atleast in that way I can avoid him and lose his memories.

Eun Shin Unnie, can I join you in the heavens?

I pondered a little bit about this idea. This might hurt for a while but it will give you eternal peace and internal happiness. I am afraid of the process, but let's go for it.

I searched for a knife in the kitchen and find the sharpest one. Eddy followed me until I chased him out of the room. He also cares for me but I can't let him see me die.

I looked at the knife and at my left wrist. I tried to cut my tip of my index finger's flesh and it hurted a lot. I don't want such a cruel death just for a heartbreak. I decided to think another idea for my everlasting sleep.

I roamed around the room to find Jiah's sleeping pills. As a doctor, I know that overtake of sleeping pills might lead to death. This is a way where my death will be a non painful one.

I took all the tablets in my hand and a cup of water with a jug and sat on the study table in her room. I hissed at the pain when I remembered that my hand is still bleeding from the cut earlier. I decided to ignore it and concentrated on my last few minutes.

I tried to thank all who helped in my 23 years of my life and cope me up with all kinds of encouragements. It will be a sad thing if I don't thank them at least in my mind. Those few people who were with me all along my life and gave me their backs and shoulders whenever I needed their support.

I was thanking everybody when I got stuck up with a person

Mom

My mom. The person who gave birth to me and the person who went through more than me. What if my mother committed suicide after my father's death?

But she didn't do that. She stood by my side and made me grow. She worked a lot for me and made me flourish. She had to do many jobs at the same time plus having the household works just to pay my school fees. I think of the times where skipped many breakfasts, lunches and dinners just to work. The days she skipped her sleep just to earn money for feeding me.

Her sacrifices made me spill buckets of tears. I threw away the pills and drank the water. Seeing back my mother, I realized that I should stand still by not swaying away from my goal. People come and people go but only you stand for yourself.

Do Kyungsoo can come and go, but he will not play with my life again. I will not allow to. Not only him but any other man in this world. He just left me to make me realize my value and how strong I should live this life.

I threw away the pills and kept the knife in the vanity table. I opened the door to see Eddy staring at me with his tail shaking. He jumped on me and that made me lose my balance. He licked my face and played with my hair. Somehow that made me comfortable and kept me in peace.

I decided to give Eddy a bath and took him to the shower. He refused so much but in the end he showered and I dried him up. He seem to be annoyed by the fact that he was drenched. I used the blow-dryer to dry his furs. That made him close his eyes and enjoy the service did to him.

At the end, we started watching a cartoon movie called Snoopy. Thanks to Eddy and my mom, I felt like living again for a cause.
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Sorry for the lame chapter, but please do support. If this chapter is draining your emotions, feel free to skip this chapter and wait for the next. Do read, vote and comment.

(P.s: Silent readers, please show yourselves)

~BGJ