Our Parents Pain Came With Love

Chapter 2

-YANDISWA BESS Hi, for those that don’t know me. I am Yandiswa Gxaba Bess, turning 45 from the book With Pain Comes Love and I married to Derrick Melokuhle Bess 47 the son of Damon and Amahle Bess. We have 4 kids, Kyle, Yanga, Ayandiswa and Misokuhle all grown up and each of them living their lives. “Honey what happened?” I ask my little sister as she walks into my house wearing shades crying “He’s been hitting me” She says that taking off her shades, I sit her down next to me “I confronted him about his affair and he hit me” She cries out “Where are the kids?” I ask because this person has kids with her husband. I mostly work from home because I enjoy being home and being a sculptor and painter theres really not much for me to do at the office and recently I completed an online business course and a management course and help manage a company my husband and I built 5 years ago so things are pretty good for us. My husband and I have built a legacy for our kids so that they are set for life. “They at a friends house” She says, I pull her in for a hug consoling her. I cannot imagine what she must be going through. When she’s finally calm and I’ve given her water to calm her nerves down she’s able to tell me everything that has happened and how long he’s been abusing her and that she cant leave him because she loves him and this is just a rough patch that they going to get through “He’s been hitting you Sino for a whole year now and you calling it a rough patch?” I say unable to hide how I feel, she gets up from the couch “He is my husband Yandiswa! Melo has cheated on you countless times and you never left” She says, I chuckle “That is different and you know. Besides that was when we were dating and I was in Carli and he was in South Africa” After my sister finished school and couldn’t seem to find a job I called her to Carli and gave her a job to manage the Gallery for me as she was when we were residing in Joburg and that’s when she met her husband. He was an art buyer and art collector so they got talking and after 6 months or so she was married. Everything between them happened so fast and here they are married for almost 8 years I think. “I love him and he loves me” She defends, I’m so shook “You deserve better. He deserves to go to prison!” I yell at her because she is clearly not hearing me “You are one to talk when your husband raped you days after you buried your daughter Yandiswa! You the last person to give advice on abusive husbands” She says and then walks away leaving me speechless to say the least. That was a low blow from her side. I am shocked to see Yanga walk in as Sino walks out. My son is a sweetheart but like his father he has a temper and never takes things lightly. Melo has always instilled it on our kids, especially with Aya being the only girl that they fight for each other and most of all protect their sister and I at all costs. I think it was because of what he put me through and also because of what his sister went through. Til date, Melo still apologises for ever raping me and I have told him time and time again that I forgive him. It was a long time ago and we worked through it and we are fine now but my husband is my husband and I love him regardless. I could have had him arrested, I could have left him but I chose to stay. Not for him, not for our kids but for me and because I had not stopped loving him despite what happened and I always feel as if had I let him go when I wasn’t ready too then I probably would have been miserable because I was always miserable without him and even now that we all grown up I still feel miserable when he leaves me for work elsewhere. Talking to my son and trying to make him understand is worse than talking to a rock. Yes, he’s thick headed and wont hear anything I say. Having an angry Yanga and an angry Derrick and being put in the middle of it all is the hardest thing because it feels like I’m being forced to choose between my husband and my son which I could never do. Yanga is gone and now I’m left with my husband who is angry. Miso walks in “Parents” He says, “Hey honey. How was school?” I ask hoping to distract myself from my family falling apart “School was school mom. I just saw Yanga walk out, he looked pissed” Derrick gets up and walks out without saying a word “he and your father had a disagreement” I say brushing him off “Go change and freshen up ok” I say and leave him heading to the gym where my husband is. I find him punching the punching bag without any protective gear on. I take two pairs and walk over to him and stand between him and the punching bag “Bess” I say taking his hands into mine and his knuckles are pink, he looks at his knuckles and then at me “Here, lets spar” I say that helping him wear his gloves “I’m going to hurt you Yandiswa and I don’t want to hurt you right now” He says “You’ll never hurt me Melo” I say confidently because I know the man I married and he would never hurt me, atleast not intentionally. “Mafaku please” He says “You and Yanga said some pretty hurtful things to each other” I start off getting into position “I don’t want to talk about it” He says dismissively “Tough luck because we going to talk about it!” I say, he huffs in frustration and shoots a fist towards me but I’m quick enough to block him “I know what I did was messed up and I live to regret it but for him to remind me like that and to disrespect me in my own house calling me shiit like this man” He says unable to hide the pain in his eyes “You know he didn’t mean it. Like you he was just angry and he just needs to cool off” I say, we’ve both stopped sparring and are just sitting on the floor “Yanga is our son and you are my husband. I need you both and I cannot have you and him arguing over something that happened 21 years ago. You need to call him and talk to him” He chuckles sarcastically, knowing him; he has no intention of doing what I just asked “Bess, he’s your son. Be the bigger person and call him back home” I plead but he doesn’t even flinch “Fine then, I’ll call him home and we’ll all just stare at each other like a pile of rocks” I say getting up but he pulls me to him making me fall on his lap, he rolls us over so that he is on top of me “You know how sexy you look right now” . . To Be Continued