Our Parents Pain Came With Love

Chapter 88

-YANDISWA BESS

I swear being a mother, no, being a parent is the hardest job there ever was. My children don't always make it easy for us when they want to. Yanga is every bit like Melo hence they don't get along as Melo does with the others. All that stubbornness packed into one person is a little too much for any of them to handle and unlike the others Yanga doesn't stand back at times especially if he feels like he's being attacked just like Melo. Their defences are always up and ready to attack. I park at a hill and walk out to sit on the floor, I need to take a breath and just process everything. I take out my phone and find myself watching videos of Yasmin, her beautiful face, her adorable contagious smile, her bright eyes, how she pouts and looked like her father while doing that. I miss my daughter. I feel Melo park his car and then walk over to sit beside me.

"Do you think she'd be married by now?"

I ask him after about 5 minutes of silence between us, he chuckles

"Probably, she was too sassy for her own good"

He says and I chuckle

"What kind of parents are we?"

Melo asks and I frown confused at his question

"I don't understand"

I admit

"We did everything to try and raise them right, taught them to be respectful, shared our life experiences with them so that they could learn from them but look at where we are"

He says, I let out a sigh

"Melo you've been the best father to those children, you've played your role and more. Yanga didn't mean what he said, he was out of line but he's your son and he takes all that stubbornness from you. His defences are always up and he's always ready to attack whenever he feels like hes being attacked. Yanga was wrong for cheating but hes not the only one that brough that girl into their lives because Macella befriended her, her friend warned her to watch out but Mercy still remained friends with her."

I explain

"Yanga has disrespected me enough Yaya. After he found out about the rape I understood his emotions were all over the place but this? This is can't just forgive it. I just can't, he's pushed too far"

He says and I realise how hurt he is because of what Yanga said

"I'm not going to force you to get over what he said but he's your son and you and him won't always get along but you're a parent and sometimes there's things you just need to look past and forgive. If something happened to him today with you and him fighting do you honestly think you would forgive yourself?"

I ask him and he shrugs

"We both know you wouldn't. Sort things out with your son"

I plead, he lets out a sigh

"I don't know Yaya, I need time more than anything"

He says and I nod. We sit over the cliff that over looks the city in silence while we go through our old pictures and videos of Yasy laughing every now and then

"I miss her"

He admits and I smile

"It's normal to miss her. Death doesn't mean we should forget someone"

I say and he nods

"I guess so"

He says and we go back to our comfortable silence

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-YANGA BESS

I don't think I have ever regretted my words as I do right now. I hate that my actions are the reason we are here today, I hate that I put my sister and Macella's lives in danger the way I did. But more than anything I hate that I spoke to my father the way I did, I was wrong and now the damage I have done is beyond repairs. I know that at some point he will forgive me for what I said but I know that our relationship will forever be ruined because of what I said. I guess this is a lesson on the depth of words and how deep they cut. I stand in my room that is half burnt but atleast my closet survived. I can't imagine what I would do if I had lost my entire sneaker collection.

My train of thoughts is disturbed by a knock on my door. It's not closed and so I turn and I see Mercy.

"May I come in?"

I nod

"We haven't had time to talk with everything that's happened"

She starts off and I nod, she walks over to sit on my bed. I walk over and join her

"Mercy"

"Yanga"

We speak at the same time and then laugh it off

"Ladies first"

I say and she nods

"I've lost enough. I'm no stranger to loss and I know you not either. Facing death the way we did this morning I realised that I don't want to lose you. My love for you surpasses my anger and hate for you. I realised that I don't want to carry this hurt and guilt I'm carrying over what I said to my father before he died with you. I love you Yanga and I don't know what I'm trying to say but in simple terms, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to live with regrets of what could have been. I don't want to end things between us based off of everyone's opinion of this situation, a lot of people have spoken to me about what I should do and I heard them all but I can't let you go, not now. I can argue with anything but the heart wants what it wants and that's you"

Nothing could have ever prepared me for what Macella has just confessed to me right now. I have no idea how to respond even but at the top of my head is

"Macella I love you. I know the depth of the pain I have caused you and I can promise you right here and right now that I will never hurt you the way I did ever again. I promise to give you time, time for you to love me the same way again, time to trust me again. I promise to be a better man and should I feel differently about you, I promise not to string you along and instead talk to you about it and make you understand. I love you so much and thank you for wanting to give us another shot again. I promise you I won't mess this up, I won't blow it this time around"

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