Our Parents Pain Came With Love

Chapter 3

-KYLE BESS Yaya has a good heart by nature and nothing or no-one can change it. There was a time when mom took me to Cuba, the way Yaya was so upset she even cried because that’s just how a mother is. Obviously Kate lost and returned me to the Bess family, I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t doing well in school either and she only allowed me to visit my family on long holidays so you can just imagine how unhappy I was to live with my biological and for Yaya to suggest that I go and visit my family says a lot about how far we have all come. “I understand that they my siblings mom but cant they come here instead of me going there?” I say and Yaya chuckles “Oh Kyle, we’ve spoilt you haven’t we Honey?” She says that looking at dad who laughs “you mean you spoilt him. Always hogging him and never wanting him to go anywhere else but be with us every time” She gives dad a deathstare making me laugh, I love these two “do you blame me? Look at him, he’s an amazing man thanks to us” Mom says and I just smile at her. She’s right, I wouldn’t be the man I am if it weren’t for her “and I am forever grateful to have you guys. So whats going on?” I ask because Yanga has been quiet and shooting daggers at dad, not forgetting the 5 finger on his cheek “ask your brother” Dad says with a bored look “MJ” I say shoving him lightly with my elbow “Ask your mother” He says, ok… now this is boring. Miso comes down the stairs “Kyle you here” He says excitedly coming to greet me. I get up and we share a hug. “how you doing kiddo?” I ask as we break the hug “I’m good. Glad to see you” I chuckle, his excitement is always amazing. “honey go call your sister to join us” Mom says, now I know that things are serious. Miso doesn’t waste any time and head up to Aya’s room “Yanga bring us juice and glasses enough for everyone” Mom says and my brother drags his feet to the kitchen. Aya comes down with Miso and soon Yanga joins us and throws himself on the couch. “Good, everyone is here” She starts off. “I know you’ve all noticed the tension between your father and your brother, its impossible to miss.” She adds and we all nod “when I was 24 and your father 26 we lost a daughter, she was 3 years old when she was killed in a car accident. You guys know how I found out about her death, I had just came back from Durban when I heard the news on the radio. Kyle is my first born yes but Yasmin was my first biological child, someone that lived in my womb for the very first time.” She takes a deep breath “the only reason I am even telling you guys what I’m about to tell you is because Yanga has already heard it being blurted out by my sister and its only a matter of time before the rest of you learn of what happened” She says, now I’m worried “We buried our little girl and the next couple of days were the hardest. Losing a child is one thing but trying to cope and get used to that child not being there is another. It’s a different kind of loss because then it means you have to go back to how things were before she came in the picture. How the house is just quiet and lonely without her you know. It took a toll on both of us, your father buried himself in work and I turned to alcohol. I found comfort in drinking and he did the same and the system or rather our routine worked pretty fine for us for a couple of days. This one night he came home drunk AF and I was also drunk and passed out on the bed watching old videos of our daughter. He woke me up and we said some things to each other, mean things that we shouldn’t have said to each other and that ended up with your father raping me” This whole time dad was holding mom’s hand but he tried to let her go as soon as she mentioned he raped her, I’m assuming it left a bitter taste in everyone’s ears. “I’m not telling you this so that you resent your father because I do not. He’s my husband and I love him despite what happened and it doesn’t change the fact that he is your father and you will still respect him as you did even before I told you what I just told you right now. I have loved this man for over 26 years and nothing that has happened has made me feel some type of way about him and I hoping that this wont change how you feel about him, he has lived to pay for what he did, we both have. Yanga I can only apologise for how you found out but the rest I will not! I love this man and nothing that happened 21 years ago will change that” She said that leaving all of us speechless, this kind of bomb I did not expect at all. Aya is crying silently and Miso shows no emotion and Yanga only displays anger in his face as for me, I don’t know how I feel but I do know that my parents love each other and that I enter nowhere in their marriage. Nothing mom has just told us changes how I feel about our father, I still respect him and I love him. “I have spent the rest of these years making up for what I did, til date it doesn’t feel like I’ve done enough because no amount of sorries or gifts could ever compare to rape and will never be enough to make your mother forget, not that that’s what I’m aiming for but I am glad that she has healed from it and she tries her best to help me heal from it because I could never forgive myself for what I did to her that night. I live to regret it everyday” Dad says and he’s right. He looks like someone who still regrets what he did “Yanga was the outcome of my foolish actions and Yaya could have aborted him but she loved him and still does despite how he was conceived. Neither of us were ready for a child just so soon after losing one but what choice did we have? We had to make do and my wife told me flat out that she wasn’t going to do this parenting thing without me and I’ll forever be grateful that she was able to forgive me.” Mom takes dad’s hand and kisses him assuring him that they are good. “All I can say is that as much as I’m shocked that this happened but I’m glad you guys are ok and have healed even though dad is still learning to forgive himself but I’m glad you guys are good with each other. You both my parents and what happened in past happened but what matters is the present and where we are now.” I say honestly . . To Be Continued