Emancipation

twenty two

"So, what happened? Ashley said you missed two lectures today." Caleb says as we sit in the cafeteria. He's sipping on orange juice as he looks at me with curious eyes.

"James and I talked." I tell him, leaving out the part where I almost had an anxiety attack because I never told him about the incident. I just cannot bring myself to talk about it and I wonder how much of a problem that would be for therapy.

He already sent me the contact of the therapist. Her name is Andrea Wilson, and I plan on calling her soon to fix an appointment this week.

"And?" Caleb is looking at me curiously and I notice how his hair is getting longer, almost reaching his eyes.

"He said we could try communicating better, and I agreed." I tell him the crux of it.

"You guys didn't kiss again?"

I shake my head, "I think we're both afraid of doing the wrong thing. So we're just seeing how things go."

He nods, giving me a small smile. "I'm proud of you, you know that? It can't be easy, to do what you've done for your family and handling this."

I don't think anyone's ever said that to me, ever. So his words just overwhelm me and I can't help when I wrap my arms around him. Caleb's at least three years older to me and he gives such an elder brother vibe.

"Thank you, Caleb." I say and he just hugs me back.

Today has been so eventful and it's just two in the afternoon. Caleb and I eventually let go of each other as he chews on the fries from my plate, making me swat his hand away.

"I think I'm going to tell Austin that I love him." He says, picking up the fry again but I just look at him.

"Has he said it yet?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"He's not very self aware to be honest, and sometimes needs a little push in the right direction of his feeling. He can act all party-guy and broody but I know the guy. I've been dating him for three months now." He shrugs.

"How do you when you love someone?" I ask, genuinely curious because I've never experienced it before.

"It's not rocket science that you have to discover, I guess. It's just a very strong feeling and bells are literally going off in your head about much you feel for that person. You have to be aware of your emotions, recognise them, and you just know."

I nod even though I'm still processing his words. I guess love isn't an emotion which can ever be explained through words. You know you're in love when you actually feel it in the moment. Before and after are just made-up scenarios.

"I hope it goes well." I tell him and he gives me a smile.

From the corner of my eyes I spot Max and Ashley walking towards us, holding hands. Caleb follows my gaze and then turns to me. "When the hell did that happen?"

"Yesterday evening." I tell him and he just has this very amused look on his face.

When they join us, Ashley gives me a hug while Max fist bumps Caleb. He takes a seat opposite me, smiling like an idiot as he pulls Ashley in his lap.

"So, if I remember correctly, the first day I met you, you said something about a particular girl not turning you on?" I smirk at him and he immediately blushes, making me laugh. "I'm happy for you two."

"Ugh. Another couple." Natalie says, joining us as she takes a seat next to me. "Us singles gotta stick together, Lil."

That makes me give her a tight-lipped smile. At least all of them are dating, not married. Austin is the last one to join us at the table and he immediately leans down to give Caleb a kiss, making me look away.