Emancipation

thirty one

The past two and a half weeks have gone in a blur of drinking lots of hot chocolate, eating fruits day and night to keep myself healthy with my eyes glued to notes or laptop. Last couple of therapy sessions have been so emotionally exhausting especially during finals that I came and locked myself in the room for hours with the excuse of studying so that James would leave me alone.

I have realised that therapy makes you introspect things and come to terms with thoughts that you've constantly been running away from. Dr. Wilson asked me last week how did I feel about being married so young and I tried to laugh it off until I realised that it was a topic that needed addressing.

James is a charming, beautiful, witty, intelligent and absolutely genius man but if I had an option, I would much rather date him than be married so young. But then I know that's just fantasy world hypothetical situation I have in mind because if we weren't married, we wouldn't be where we are today.

However, in therapy I get to be honest about how my plans haven't gone according to my wishes, and though I am happy with the bond James and I share, it also does sadden me to think otherwise. Dr. Wilson has encouraged me to be honest about this with James, so that we have more open and honest relationship but I'm taking my time to come to terms with things myself, and honestly as accommodating as he has been to my needs throughout my finals, I'm also a little afraid of his reaction to this conversation.

A tap on my shoulder breaks me out of my thoughts and jump from surprise but then my eyes focus on Natalie who's smiling at me her full grin. "I can't believe I'm in final year of MBA."

I laugh a little at her words, "You just gave the exam, Nat. How are you sure you're not going to flunk?" I ask her as I shift in my seat a little.

Today was the last final and I decided to wait for everyone in Cafeteria since all of us met here after every exam. Things between Natalie and me are as normal as they can be, with no awkwardness and I'm so glad about that because I'm starting to relax in her presence again, knowing that she never had any wrong intentions to begin with.

"Wow, does that optimism come naturally to you?" She scoffs and I smile at her sarcasm.

I noticed Max walking towards us with Ashley and Caleb by his side. As soon as he reaches the table, he slams his palm on the surface. "I rocked that exam. In your face, bitches!"

"Who are you talking to?" Natalie looks at him funnily.

"His other personalities, nothing you guys have to worry about." Ashley comments, making me laugh as I stand up from my chair to give all of them a hug, especially Caleb because the guy looks like a mess.

"Are you okay?" I whisper to him so only he can listen and he gives me the most fake smile I've ever seen cross anyone's face. My frown only deepens when Austin joins the table, pretty much mirroring Caleb's expression.

Okay, definitely trouble in paradise.

"What's with you guys?" Max asks, clearly not considering that they might not wanna talk about it.

"Nothing." Caleb shrugs which only earns him a glare from his boyfriend. "I'm going to head home, I think I need to sleep for a week."

Everyone nods in understanding and then Austin's eyes meet mine — there's something so off about the way he looks at me that I can't help but scowl at him. I haven't really talked to anyone properly since prep leave so I have no idea what has been going on between those two.

"I'll also leave, I think." I get my bag, trying to avoid Austin's gaze and Caleb looks between his boyfriend and me before nodding.

"We're having taco night at our apartment, please tell me you guys aren't ditching." Ashley looks at us.