Emancipation

thirty five

I sit up a little in the bed when I notice his silhouette at the door, entering the room as he reaches for the light switch and I gulp, quickly wiping my face to stop myself from crying as his face comes into light.

He isn't wearing the jacket and sleeves are rolled up with no tie in sight. His eyes meet mine momentarily before he scowls deeply. I have no idea how to react to his presence or what to say, but just seeing him standing in front of me washes me with relief.

"I thought you'll be asleep." He speaks, breaking the silence but the scowl is still very evident on his face.

"I was... I did sleep but then I woke up." My voice is a little hoarse from all the crying I've been doing today. I really hope he doesn't notice it but then he closes the distance between us as he comes to sit on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Why are you in this room?" He asks as he studies my face. He's calm, much calmer than he was this morning. Maybe he really just wanted some time.

"It felt weird without you."

He nods, looking away momentarily and it takes everything in me not to break down because I didn't think he'll even look at me after today, let alone sit so close to me. He faces me again and sighs. "Have you been crying?"

That does it — all the tears I was trying so hard to keep in come rushing as I bring up my hands to cover my face because I'd really not like him to witness this. I sob pathetically into my palms until I feel a little movement as his arms wrap around me and along with bringing comfort, comes a lot of more repressed tears.

"I'm so sorry." I sob out as he pulls me even closer, his embrace around me turning tighter.

"Shh, Lil. Please don't cry." His one hand comes to remove mine from my face but I just shake my head. "Let me just look at you."

I wipe my tears from the back of my hand and he shifts a little as he pulls me into his lap, his thumb coming to stroke away the tears on my cheeks as he tries to meet my eyes and I finally give in. But looking into his eyes just proves of no help as tears escape after seeing the hurt behind them.

"God, alright. I think you just really need to cry your heart out." He suggests and I absolutely agree because I haven't had a breakdown in so long, these are just pent up emotions coming out after the bubble has been burst by today's incidents. "It's just breaking my heart to see you like this."

I take in a wavering breath, looking at him. "I want to withdraw my application."

"What?" He snaps loudly and I flinch a little. "How in the world did you come to that decision?"

I try to create some distance between us and he loosens his grip a little so I slide away from his lap and sit down against the headboard as I wipe away my tears, telling myself that I really do need to stop crying.

"I didn't know it would create such a big problem between us, had I known, I wouldn't have applied. I've found some other internships, I'll be applying for those."

He glares at me but it isn't as hard as this morning, "So all this for nothing? At least wait till you hear the result."

I suck in a breath, looking at him, "Did you—"

"No." He shakes his head. "I haven't done anything, Lillian. But trust me, it will be stupid as hell to withdraw your application. I asked Hale to mail me your resume, I saw how good it is."

"I'm sure every other candidate had something about them. There are other programs, but I won't get another relationship, James." I tell him honestly and he sighs. "I just want you to know that I do respect this bond, you're my priority and applying at Clark Enterprise was anyway a stupid idea."