Emancipation

sixty three

I can hear the constant beeping of the machines as a slight groan leaves my mouth from the pain that shoots through my body. I slowly open my eyes only to realise that I can hear two people talking in the room.

James's voice hits my ear as I wake up, realising how dry my throat feels, like someone is rubbing the sandpaper against it.

"She'll be fine." I hear Carrack's voice.

"I don't know what I would do if she isn't." James sighs. His eyes flicker to me and he immediately rushes to my side. "Lillian?"

"Water." I let out and he reaches above my head to press a button, the light blinding my eyes. "Can you turn that light off?"

He nods, moving to do just that. I feel the IV going through my arm and the oximeter attached to my finger, making me sigh as I feel like my body is breaking apart.

A nurse walks through the door. She's young and is wearing a kind smile as she looks at me. "You're awake."

"Yeah. Can I please have some water?" I ask, and she sighs, shaking her head.

"Your surgery was performed this morning. I'm afraid you're going to have to wait a couple of hours before you can drink water."

"That's ridiculous." James frowns at her, voicing my thoughts.

But her words hit something deep inside me. I finally had the surgery, making it even more real or surreal, I'm not sure. This finalises my living nightmare of never being able to conceive. I gulp at the thought, instructing myself to focus on my physical health for the moment because getting lost in my thoughts is a spiral I don't want to go down.

"Doctor's orders, Mr. Clark."

She picks up a chart from the side of my bed before she asks me a couple of questions. Honestly, my thoughts are so hazy that I keep losing track of what I'm telling her.

"I would suggest you let her rest." She looks at James who glares at her.

"It's okay," I tell her and she offers me a smile before leaving.

My eyes move to Carrack who's standing on the edge of my bed. He smiles at me. "How are you feeling, Lil?"

"Fabulous." I try to smile a little, making him laugh a little. "Are my parents here too?"

"Yeah. I tried to send them home, but they wouldn't listen. Jer too." James informs and I nod.

My family didn't take the news of my cancer very well. My parents cried too much for my own good and Jeremy couldn't even look at me without breaking down. At one point I had to console and reassure them instead of the other way around. James played a role in talking to them, and that's another thing I'm grateful to him for.

After we came back from Birmingham, we scheduled a surgery for two weeks later.

"I'll go tell them you're awake." Carrack looks at us and I offer him a nod.

I have a tube in my nose for oxygen, and it's very, very uncomfortable along with all these other wires attached to my body. My eyes move to James and he looks on the verge of breakdown.

"So? What's the verdict?" I ask him, dreading the news.

Before he can respond to me, my parents enter the room. My mother looks like she has cried herself to sickness while my father looks much better, making me smile because these people have been my sense of strength for the past two weeks apart from my friends.

Caleb has been awfully motivating throughout the upcoming day of surgery. Austin and him hung out with me every day when I forced James to go to work. Jeremy had to go back to college, but he promised me he would be here today.