Emancipation

sixty two

I wake up to a lot of shuffling, my tears dried up on my cheeks. My arm extends to find James's side of bed cold. A panic sets inside me as I sit up in the bed, looking for him. After spending hours in each other's arms in the nursery yesterday, he made us dinner. I was reluctant to eat, but he didn't let me sleep on an empty stomach.

When the night came, our thoughts turned darker but he didn't leave my side for a second. I think he did it more for himself than me but I'm glad he didn't.

He steps out of the closet with a bunch of clothes in his hands, making me frown at him. "What are you doing?"

"Packing." He rushes out, dumping the pile on the bed before going back in the closet.

"What?" I call out, confused as hell.

When he's back out again with my clothes, I rub my eyes to make sure that I haven't woken up to another ridiculous dream which doesn't make sense.

"James?"

He's panicking. I can tell it from the way his eyes cannot seem to focus on one thing. He moves around a lot when he gets restless which makes me get out of the bed. I walk up to him, catching his wrist as I make him face me.

"What's going on?" I ask, trying not to freak out due to his panic. "What are you packing for?"

"England." He pauses then his green anxious eyes meet mine. "We're going to England."

"What?"

He has lost it. He moves out of my grasp and brings out a huge bag. After collecting the clothes, he starts putting it one by one, making me swallow because I don't know what to say to him.

"James." My voice is a little firmer this time, making him stop in his track as he faces me.

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" I repeat my question. "Why are we going to England?"

He finally lets go of the clothes and comes to stand in front of me, taking my face in his hands as he kisses me. I sigh against his lips when he parts. My entire life has been turned upside down in a matter of ten days yet the comfort he provides me remains the only constant in my life.

"I talked to Dr Green. She said you can travel, given that you feel alright. Do you feel okay?"

I nod at him, still trying to wrap my head around his words. It still doesn't make sense why he's packing for England out of all the places. It's not travelling to another state, it's another continent altogether. James always has my visa renewed through his connections in case we ever need to travel.

"After you went to sleep last night, I did a lot of research. I found out that the best uterine oncologist is in Birmingham of all the places. What are the chances?" He smiles a little, his words making me take a step back.

"Have you slept at all?" I ask him, scowling because that makes a lot of sense as to why he's panicking right now.

"No. I couldn't." He runs a shaky hand through his hair before he steps forward. "I got the company's private jet too. We'll be there by tomorrow."

"James, no!" I shake my head. "Baby, you can't keep doing this. There's only so much I can take, please."

"What?"

"I don't want to get a third opinion. I just wish you would stop being in denial."

I know my tone is a little harsh but I can't do this again. I can't let my hopes up after they have been so terribly crushed. There has to be a way for James to stop wanting to get a best doctor's opinion. Each one has offered me worse news. I can't have another doctor telling me that I might as well die tomorrow.