Emancipation

forty three

I spent the entire night sitting in the living room because I couldn't bring myself to sleep. The bedroom didn't feel the same without his presence, knowing that he's out there god knows where. The only time I went in there was to change out of my dress in the closet.

My heart felt too empty, like someone had constantly punched it enough for it to sink deep down in my stomach, but there was absolutely no sign of James. I think I've lost count of how many times I've checked my phone or called him to only reach his voicemail, both his work and personal number.

"This is James Clark, please leave your message." I remember the first time I heard it, I almost rolled my eyes. This was when I called him after the engagement, to meet up and find a way to stall the wedding or get rid of it completely. He took me out to dinner only to leave the responsibility of breaking off the engagement on my shoulders. I wonder what would've happened, where would I be if I wasn't married to him. Probably asleep in my dorm room, not trying to keep it together because I can't seem to reach my husband.

I try his personal number again but it reaches his voicemail too, the sound of his voice only pushing me to tears further that I'm trying to hold back. "If you can't reach me here, please contact my office in case it's urgent."

There was too much that happened last night, and I completely understand that James needed the time to process that someone he kept so dear to him had betrayed him like that — I can't imagine how heartbroken he was but if only he hadn't left like that.

"Mrs. Clark?" Reece's voice makes me jump and I turn to see her standing in middle of the living room.

"Hey, any news?" I ask, referring to James's whereabouts but she gives me an apologetic look.

"He seems to have disconnected the car GPS last night, ma'am. His last location is five minutes away from the apartment after he drove off."

Her words should surprise me, but they really don't. He doesn't want to be disturbed or found. I nod at her and she excuses herself to the surveillance room before I pick up my phone and instead of calling the number I know by heart, I dial another one.

"Lillian?" His voice is groggy, and I assume he was asleep since it's seven in the morning on a Saturday.

"Hey, I'm so sorry for calling you so early." I clench my hands in order to stop them trembling.

I really thought being worried for James would distract me from how Richard stood in front of me last night and stared at me like that, but each time I closed my eyes, I could feel my body convulsing from the terror that ran through my body. Chloe's words rang in my head throughout, despite how much I tried to push them away. I still can't believe I slapped her, because I've never raised a hand at anyone. Although a huge part of me is proud of doing what I did, aware that she deserved it.

"What's wrong?" He immediately asks and I bite on my tongue to stop myself from crying. I haven't shed a single tear since last night, and I'm not breaking down now. I need to keep my head straight. "Lillian? Both of you left the party without saying anything, are you guys okay?"

I shake my head, realising that he can't see me so I take a deep breath. "Something happened at the party, and we came back but he didn't come upstairs. He just left, Hale. The GPS to his car is disconnected, and his phone's going straight to the voicemail. I don't know what to do."

"Fuck." I hear him curse and some shuffling in the background, then a woman's voice, immediately realising that it's Alex. I feel bad for disturbing them. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"It's better if you hear it from him," I tell him, somehow feeling like it isn't my place to reveal this, even if he's his best friend. My stomach clenches further as I continue to stare at the rug on the floor. "Do you have any idea where he could be?"