Emancipation

forty nine

Everything is a chaos.

I watch in front of me as Jeremy tries to zip the luggage while Joan sits on top of the suitcase, multiple curses leaving my brother's foul mouth as he puts all his strength in the hook of the zipper. He yanks it so hard that it comes off, making him stumble back in horror as he looks at the broken piece in his hand with utter disbelief.

"No!" He gasps, and then his eyes switch to the clock before moving back to his bag, making him repeat with more emphasis this time, shaking his head. "No!"

"Jer..." Joan begins, about to slide off the suitcase but he just shakes his head.

"Don't move! It will open up again." He yells frantically, earning himself a pretty dead look.

I observe from the corner of the room as my brother starts pacing back and forth, his hand in his hair, more curses leaving him as he keeps his eyes closed and I sigh, shaking my head. Joan sends me a helpless glance and I take my weight off the wall, starting to walk towards my brother. He's so lost in himself that he bumps into me and then glares at me.

"What?"

His snappy tone is ignored because I can understand how frustrated he is at the moment. I keep my hands on his shoulder and make him look at me.

"Breathe, Jer." He shakes his head in protest but this time, I glare at him. "Breathe!"

He nods, closing his eyes as he takes in a deep breath and exhales it out before doing it for a couple of more times and opening his eyes. His eyes have always been more greyish than blue, taking from our mother's while mine are purely from my father's.

"Now, where did you get the suitcase from?" I ask, looking at the poor thing struggling to keep it together.

"A shop down the river street, what does it matter?" He throws his hands in the air. "I'm supposed to leave for airport in an hour and this shit wouldn't close."

I try not to laugh at how exasperated he sounds. He's my brother and I'm worried for him, of course, but this is exactly the reason I get nervous with the idea of him living away. Either he can't do shit, or he freaks out so much that people around him walk on eggshells, like poor Joan.

"Alright. I know what I'm going to say you wouldn't like, but I think it's time to give up the ego shit and borrow one of Dad's suitcases."

"Bu—" He starts but I shush him up.

"I know you want to be independent and start from scratch as you move to New York, but borrowing a suitcase would wound your ego, really?" I raise an eyebrow at him and he groans, shaking his head. "Now, it will only take a few minutes to shift this to another suitcase with more space that would close easily."

"Fuck, fine!" He curses and Joan snickers, earning a dead look which makes her shut up.

"Okay, then. I'll go get you a suitcase while you see if you missed anything in your hand luggage. The list is on the desk, cross check it." I point towards it and he nods as I turn to Joan, giving her an understanding look and she grins back at me.

After I leave my brother's room, I make my way downstairs, telling myself to hold off my tears till the moment we're at the airport. Once I reach the floor, I notice that my parents are in the living room.

"Hey, where's that big suitcase of Dad?" I ask, drawing their attention to myself.

"What happened to the one Jer bought?" Mom frowns in response.

"The zip broke off."

"And you guys want to switch right now, at the last moment? I've been telling that boy to just push down his ego and take my stuff but no, he wants to be independent. Tell him to be independent with a broken zipper." Dad rants off and I roll my eyes.