Emancipation

forty six

My heartbeat picks up when I notice how my husband looks as handsome as I remember him to be, but his eyes have bags underneath and his hair are a little messy. He keeps staring at me, his eyes fixed on my face as his lips part to speak but no words come out. God, he looks like a version of the man I love but have never witnessed before, but the one who aware would be embraced with open arms.

"I—" I try to start, fumbling with my fingers but then lose trail, looking around to see that the bed is perfectly made up, and it looks pretty much the same like I left it. Nothing has been touched. "Did Mrs. George not change the sheets?"

God, is that really what I'm concerned about right now? Something's really wrong with me. Like, really screwed up in my head to bring that up when I'm seeing him after almost three days.

"Huh?" He seems to snap out of his trance and looks at the bed, then back at me. "Yeah, I didn't really use the bed so I asked her not to."

His words make me frown as I stare at him. "Where have you been sleeping if you didn't use the bed?"

"Guest room."

"Oh."

I don't know what to say, I want to ask him why but a part of me already knows the answer. He didn't want to be in this room without me, and I understand that, because that's exactly how I felt the night he didn't come back. That thought brings with it the emotions swirling within me as I meet his eyes and he's already staring at me intently, making my breathing turn a little shallow.

He very cautiously takes a step forward, gauging my reaction and it reminds me of how I stepped back so many times the other day. I don't step back this time, because I don't want to, but the look of relief on his face when I stay put almost brings me to tears. Never in a million years could I've imagined that I could have such an impact on this man in front of me.

"Are you back?" He asks, his voice a little hesitant as I pick up my weight off the doorframe and nod. "For good?"

I nod again and he takes a few steps forward but then stops himself, clenching his hands as he looks away and curses under his breath. His actions make me scowl, almost twisting my heart from pain so I take a step in his direction, making him look at me with surprise.

"It's okay, I'm not running away." I promise him and his face washes over with relief as his shoulder slump like I just took off huge burden from them.

Next thing I know, he's crossing the distance between us and wrapping his arms around me, engulfing me in a tight embrace as I feel the familiar warmth of his body against mine. Holy! My breathing almost stops before picking up and then I sigh, tears stinging my eyes because as he holds me, it dawns upon me that I didn't even realise how much I needed it.

My arms go around him as I hug him and rest my head against his shoulder, taking in the smell of James that his clothes could barely replicate. The overwhelming sensations make tears spill a little as I sniff and he parts away to look at my face, which makes him frown.

"We've got a lot to talk about." He states the obvious and I nod. "Do you want to change first, get comfortable? We can eat and talk."

I shake my head as I look into his eyes, reading his face from such close proximity after so many days. "I'm not hungry."

"You look like you haven't been eating properly." He comments, and I sigh.

"I just want to talk, please."

He nods, taking a step back as he extends his hand in front of me to take. Normally, I would've opted changing but today I'm wearing formal slacks and a button down that's mostly comfortable. Also, I'm too nervous for our conversation, so I just want to get it out all now.