Mine {Book 1}| Completed

Epilogue

Epilogue

Present Day, June 14, 2020

I sat in Doctor Jefferson's office explaining the end of it all.

"...trapped in my depression." I finished the story of everything to him.

He sighed, taking a deep breath trying to comprehend it all. I told him my story that led me here to Lovely Ladies Institute. His face read shock and also disappointment. But I think all of this was definitely too much. Even for me. I came back from my memories from October 2018 to now. It's funny how I met Christopher and Colleen two and half years ago. I stared at the ticking clock. I just wanted to know what he thought. He asked me to tell him everything and so I did. And I just felt like I was screaming inside. Screaming like I have been hurting of misery. It's like a part of me has been killed. For a long time I asked myself if I died would everyone be happy? Would I die peacefully? Is this earth even worth staying on? I guess I got the wrong ideas for many reasons.

Sometimes I wish I could talk to my dad. Just talk to him and say hi. I want to hear my dad's voice no how pissed I am at him. He put me in here 'cause he says I'm getting help. And I just loved to think of what will happen when I leave. I will run, feel free and just live my life without anyone telling me what to do. I wanna be able to laugh, cry, smile, scream and just be myself and the girls I've been all my life. I stayed in these walls and I only felt like I had no idea what was waiting for me outside this place.

Doctor Jefferson isn't like other doctors. He talks to me like I'm normal. He hates the word crazy. And he wants me to feel comfortable. And I somehow trust him. He tells me that we're all different from each other. And somehow I just imagine this world being different. Hard to deal with I guess. But for months I've had to deal with crazy shit from Gretchen. But I guess we're all different. Just plain out different in ways that being locked away can very much cause us to act out. And I think that's why Gretchen is the way she is. And I see good in her. Sure she likes gum and reading magazines like she's a famous model. And somehow she reminds me of Lana Del Rey. And she likes to smoke like she's a girl from the 1960s. But I honestly don't judge. Gretchen is eighteen and somehow just needs the kindness returned from others. I can't even explain how I feel at this moment.

     The room was so silent a pin could drop and you'd hear it. My ears were buzzing. And I stared at the room being still. And I wondered what would happen if there was a big storm to corrupt. I had explained everything about my story. Everything with Christopher. The moment I first met him, the moment I fell in love with him and the moment he fell in love with me.

Being sent here was the biggest mistake my father has ever made. 'Cause now he's lost me forever after doing this 'cause I never wanna see him again. If there was a way to get emancipated from just him I'd sure as hell do it from him 'cause I want him out of my life. I think his worst fear is that he was scared that Christopher would get me pregnant. That was probably the one thing he thought of and it scared him. But I never thought of that happening because I knew we were safe.

I thought of how the days here at Lovely Ladies kinda helped me keep on task of things. Since I'm always into a daily schedule. I floss my teeth three times a day. I wash my face more than anything. I cleanse myself as much as I can. The only thing I miss is my friends. I do miss them. So I guess I'm just waiting for the next months, years, weeks.... 'cause I can't stay stuck in here forever. The only thing I do want is Christopher to be happy. If we can never see each other again...then I just want him to know that I want him to be happy and live his life. 'Cause I know that's exactly what's best for him. He deserves to be happy. I don't want him sad or to worry about me.