𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤 ℕ 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤

24.

I promise y'all Im sorry!! So much have been going on, I hope you guys are staying SAFE! I just wanted to say LongLiveKay💞 I lost a special friend to gun violence recently on May 27th, 2020 I'll never forget the countless phone calls and messages that day. I love you forever. I really been thinking hard about alot of things within this pandemic. I know some of you may follow my instagram and seen some of the things but thanks you guys for being patient. Longer chapters and interesting chapters will be back.

AND BLACK LIVES FUCKING MATTER.
#JUSTICFORGEORGEFLOYD
#JUSTICEFORBREONNATAYLOR
#JUSTICEFORTOYIN

and show so fucking love to my book period 😂‼️ Rate and comment I like laughing at y'all comments it makes me want to keep posting lol. I been doing chapters when Im half sleep 💀

Lauren,

  Huffing out of frustration I laid Kam down in the center of the bed on top of the special pillow I got for him. Slowly I eased my way out of bed and hobbled to the bathroom clutching my lower abdomen.

I made it to the doorway of the bathroom successfully but my bladder stopped me from going further. I just didn't know what was wrong with me it didn't feel right.

Clamping my eyes shut I navigated my hand from my body to the wall, holding onto it with every ounce of strength. The cramps and the discomfort shot through me. It's like I was having contractions all over again. "Mmm.." I groaned.

"You can do this Lauren, you can do this. Your baby is waiting on you," I told myself. I feel weak, helpless, needy as hell, bitchy, and I'm always experiencing discomfort. Nurse Brown told me I'll feel like this if I rush things. I didn't listen. At all.

  Entering the closet I flipped the light switch upward. Just then I heard the baby begin to fuss. "I'm coming Kam." I sighed. Quickly and pushing through the pain I went back into the room to grab him. Since he seems to be upset with me not around I took him into the closet with me. Kissing his chubby cheeks I walked around, putting a slight bounce in my step every other minute to keep him calm. He chilled in the bassinet while I checked my phone texting.

  I picked Kam up from his other bassinet and carried him into the bathroom. I put him down for a few minutes so I could clean, dry, and moisturize my hands. Then it was back to bed.

"What should we do while we wait for daddy?" I murmured softly. Kam squirmed, made funny sounds, and squirmed some more all while I got comfortable on my side. "You want to watch a movie, read, listen to music or take a nap, huh?" I placed Kam on top of me.

  Deciding that I wanted to watch a movie and escape from real life for a while I scrolled through the movie choices on the tv. Just then the front door opened up and voices in the air.

  I remained focused on finding a movie for Kam and I to watch. My mood is unclear. I usually pick shit based off my mood but I can't for some reason today. For a minute I thought maybe I'm going through ppd but I don't want to place that label on myself.

Ermias and I didnt live together but he did have a key to my house and I had a key to his as well. "Boog?!" He yelled, "I got you some medicine come take it!" He yelled some more. I started to smile at how caring he was. He came to the bedroom door staring at me. "I love you but I can't take that." I laughed.

"Yes you can you aint even try it yet, if this dont work then you going to the hospital. You still hurting?" He sucked his teeth, combing through my hair while I began to feed Kam again.

"It's all the same. It hurts." I chucked weakly. Looking down at our baby I stroked his cheek with my finger smiling at how peaceful he looks. Nothing in the world beats the time a mother spends with her baby after they're arrived in the world.