19) Destin[y]ation

82 10 17
                                    

Past
Ashford, UK.

PastAshford, UK

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Melissa's PoV:

Julie woke me up to answer a call from Josh. I hadn't remembered how long I slept. Once her job was done, she left the room. As I got up to answer the call, I felt uneasy. I clutched my head for it aches like hell. Oh yeah, I always have to go through this after spending nights crying. It implies I cried last night too.

Cried?

Within a flash of seconds, all the memories of yesterday flooded back.

••○•○••

I walked sluggishly into the doors of my home that had always shown me, love to the fullest. I was more like a robot that was programmed to drive with Josh back to my home and enter the living room. I did with zero ideas of what I was doing.

Seeing me entering, Julie rushed towards me. She, understanding my mental state, said some soothing words. Without me being aware a tear escaped my eyes. Julie pulled me into a hug. I wondered when we had hugged each other for the last. Her embrace was so comforting. I cried out loud.

That was when mum came into the living room. She hurried to me as well. As Julie pulled away, mum took me into a side hug and walked me to the sofa. She made me sit while Josh tagged along. I'd just forget he was there even.

Once I gained myself to some extent, mum tried consoling me. She dabbed my tears away and caressed my hair as she tried reasoning.

They told me, it was two months already and I should try grabbing myself. I looked at them shocked. I hadn't known I was that late.

"57 days to be precise," cleared Josh.

'Who needs his precision?' I grunted inwardly.

I asked them why they hadn't told me. They replied to me that they had mailed me. Only then I realised I hadn't checked my mails for about 2 months.

I was enraged with the realization that after Josh had told me about Austin, I had spent about a month and a half in my room crying and crying. Josh told me that he had expected me to arrive the very next day. But to be honest, I hadn't known that I was there in my room for that many days.

It hurts when our beloved ones hate us. But self-hatred is even worse. It can take you to any extent. Even to the extent of hurting or even killing yourself. I felt that sort of self-hatred then. I loathed myself.

I knew mum could read me. As if Josh and Julie were the ones making me feel hurt, mum cleared us off the living room. I truly wanted some privacy. I needed to hate myself in solitude. I already cried a lot in public and made them pity-look at me. I pelted to my room. I expected Josh or Julie to follow me. But they didn't. So, I was alone.

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