Revealed [[KNJ]] 18+ ✔️

30

Namjoon had barely slept a wink and he was downing coffee as if his life depended on it. The morning was quiet as he was the first to leave his room. Yoongi was still annoyed with him but he didn't blame him for it. Namjoon knew he had majorly fucked up and probably ruined any chance to win Hana back.

He wouldn't blame her if she wanted someone more suited to her. Someone who didn't want to keep her by his side and not let her do her own thing. After he had broken down in front of Freya, he agreed to get some help. The help that was probably needed after he saw his brother playing with his dead dog.

He rubbed his face and grabbed another mug of coffee and went to the living room where his laptop was. He pulled it onto his lap and scrolled through the emails in his inbox. Most of them were boring and his friends could deal with them. He always checked his junk mail.

"No, no, no," He said deleting a few without opening them. He frowned and clicked open and email. Namjoon scrolled through the email and his body froze when he came across some photos. His stomach turned in anger and sickness, his hand shaking, "What...the...fuck,"

Namjoon swallowed hard and put the laptop back on the table, leaving a photo on the screen. He was unable to tear his eyes away from the image. But he knew he deserved it. He knew that Hana was free to find someone who would love her the way she wanted. Just like the men in the novels she was always reading.

He tried to blink away his tears but it felt like his heart was torn in two as he could see how much she was enjoying being with Jungkook. Namjoon looked down at his hand when something wet dropped on it and he realised he was crying.

Guilt flooded his body at how he had treated Hana. An emotion he never wanted to feel. An emotion mixed in with his heartbreak. It almost felt unbearable to him but he deserved it. He didn't realise how good Hana had been for him but he let her go because he couldn't control his anger or possessiveness. He never took a step back and listened to her.

He just yelled and told her what she could and couldn't do, which pushed her away even more. 

Namjoon knew Hana was too good for him but he didn't want to miss the opportunity to have her all to himself. She was perfect in every way and he loved the way she fought him on everything she didn't agree with. He loved how she quit the career she always wanted for him and even through all the hurt and pain she endured, she went back to him.

But he ruined it.

She was willing to sleep beside him knowing that he could strangle her in her sleep. She sat and cried when he opened his heart about the abuse he received. How he had to toughen up and become cold to survive. How he had to lock his feelings away so he could kill people who went against him.

He didn't want to believe that Hana was the one he fell in love with and kept making excuses but deep down he knew the truth. He knew that she was the one that stole his heart and he never wanted it back. Namjoon wanted her to keep it until the day they died.

Hana was the girl for him.

"Fuck," He cried and covered his eyes with the heels of his palms, as tears streamed down his face, sobs shaking his body, "You fucking idiot!"

"Is...is everything ok?"

Namjoon shook his head, "Do I look ok?!"

"Holy shit!" Freya said, "Is that Hana and Jungkook? That is in-"

"What do you fucking think?"

Freya sat next to Namjoon and closed the laptop, "I'm going to take a wild guess as to why you are crying,"

"Just fuck off,"

"You feel guilty that you ruined something," Freya said, "A guilt that you have never felt before. You finally realised how good Hana was to you and you fucked up because you didn't know how to control the unwanted side to you,"

Namjoon sniffed and wiped his eyes, "I don't need your opinions,"

"They aren't opinions. You don't want to hear those," He said, "Those were facts. Hana did everything to try and keep you happy. Even after you screamed and yelled at her, she came back. Because she loves you. She always wanted to make your relationship work because she understood that you had a difficult life,"

"It's too late," Namjoon whispered, "She deserves better. Hana can find someone who will treat her properly. Love her more than I could ever and...she is too good for me,"

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself," Freya said firmly and Namjoon looked up at her, "Hana was crying her eyes out because she is hurt. Just like you. But probably more because you are a complete asshole that doesn't know how to treat a damn queen. We forced her to go out last night because she needed her friends. What upset me, was that she kept talking about you and how bad she felt for not standing by you,"

"But-"

"We know that Sharon called her while you were making the biggest mistake of your life. Oh, and that guy you thought she had moved on with, was an old friend of hers. They hadn't seen each other in years," Freya shrugged and stood up, "Jungkook was on the phone away from the table. If you want to work this out, you are going to be fucking honest with her and tell her what you are going to change to make this work. Don't throw empty promises at her because you are right. Right now, you don't deserve her,"

"I know,"

"Do you?" Freya said, narrowing her eyes, "Hana is one of the best girls I have ever met and much to my annoyance, you were good together. When it was good. But then you become toxic and I want her to become a lesbian to get away from you,"

Namjoon managed a smile, "I'm sure all the girls would be fighting for her,"

"Ain't that the fucking truth," She scoffed, "Also, you might want to find your brother because you know that was him taking those photos,"

"Yeah,"

"From the inside of the room,"