I'm already packing my things and that was Kuya Rod, Francheska, and Athena do. Sasama sila sakin sa pilipinas dahil wala naman daw silang gagawin dito at magmo-model rin ako ng RaCars. Ako rin ang nagbayad sa mga tickets nila, Actually may nag sponsor samin na airlines which is yun yung sasakyan namin papunta sa pilipinas. So, technically wala na kaming babayaran, that was the benefit of being a model.
"Desiree Kate?" Tawag ko sa anak ko habang nag-aayos ako ng gamit. Nakabukas lang yung pinto ng kwarto ko so I can easily call her.
"Yes Mommy?" Sabi niya habang hawak sa isang balikat ang Sofia The First na stuffed toy niya.
"Can you put your clothes in your bed? So, I can easily pack it and put it in your luggage? You can choose your clothes right?" I'll always tell her that. She knows how to pick clothes that will suit her. Sometimes, I'm the one choosing if she's not in the mood.
"Okay Mommy, I will." Sabi niya at pumunta na sa kabilang kwarto para pumili ng damit. Isang malaking maleta lang ang dadalhin ko at sinugurado ko na may pang photoshoot na damit na ako. At may dress narin ako for Chloe's wedding.
I'm sure his there but I won't let him get near me. Lalo na't kasama ko pa si Desiree he'll know eventually if he will look at Desiree intently. Hindi ko ipagdadamot si Desiree sa Daddy niya but I'll just want her to get ready if her Daddy will reject her. Alam kung may pamilya na siya ngayon, it's been 10years since he's engaged and probably married now.
After I packed my things, Tinignan ko muna si Desiree pero hindi pa naman siya tapos pumili. Umupo muna ako at nag IG story, I just took a photo of me and the luggage and put a caption of 'ready to go' i was smiling to that picture.
Nagscroll muna ako sa feed ko habang naghihintay kay Desiree matapos pumili ng kaniyang mga dadalhin. As I scroll down I saw a picture of Sky and Thalia but they're not just them. I think that was Sky's family it's christmas time I think. I read Thalia's caption on it, 'Glad to be Mrs. Racaza soon! I love this Fam❤️' that was her caption.
I don't have really encounter with her the most, because the last time I saw her. That was at Sky's office of their image..
Kissing..
How dare him to show his self to me right? And wait, they're not yet married after 10 years? It's been 10 years but they didn't married yet? How impossible.
I looked to the picture again, Thalia and Sky in one frame with Sky's fam while happily smiling was hurting me. I can't deny the fact that I'm missing my family so much. And nasasaktan parin ako sa pagkawala nila, I think after many years I am still here grieving for my family.
While him happily smiling with her fiancè and his family and celebrating christmas together. When I left philippines he didn't try to find me, Ni hindi man lang niya ako hinahanp. But wait, who Am I again? I'm just a mere secretary but in just a week of being with him in that Island, my heart fall inlove with his gesture and his words. Not knowing that he already had a fiancè.
How fuck up right?
I'm just me..
Nothing special..
Nothing important..
"Mommy are you okay?" I stared to the precious gem I have. She's everything I have, she's the one who comforting me when I'm crying. She's my happiness, my treasure, my gem, and I can't afford to lose my treasure.
As long as I could, I don't want to go away with my treasure. Kaya kahit may shoot ako ay gusto ko nandun siya nanonood. But I know not everytime that she's with me in the shoot.
I'll always love this girl infront of me..
I'll do everything for her..
"I'm okay anak," sabi ko sa kaniya. Nilapit niya ang isang kamay niya at pinunasan ang luha na hindi ko alam na tumulo pala.
"Please, don't cry Mommy.." sabi niya. And then she hugged me, I even cry more. In those 10 years I try to be busy so I can't think what happened but now I just remember how he cheated on me, how he didn't go to my familys burial, how he didn't comfort me, how he didn't show his self when I need him the most.
I may be looked fiercer, strict, and intimadating outisde but I'm fragile inside. And only my daughter sees that, she witness how I cried, she witness how weak her mother is.
"Thank you baby!" Sabi ko at pinunasan ko na ang luha ko. Even though she's still 5 years old but she's everything I have. She knows how to comfort me already and I'm proud to her.
"Thank you po?" Inosenteng sabi niya. But she's still my baby, Always be.
"Thank you for wiping Mommy's tears, Thank you for comforting Mommy when she's weak.." I said and caressed her cheek and kiss her forehead.
"Your welcome po, Mommy. But, you're not weak you're a brave Mom I know. That's why stop crying okay? I love you Mommy..." and then she hugged me again.
I will do anything for you anak, Even without your Dad. I'll support you whatever you wants to do, I may be strict sometimes but always remember that I love you more than what I have right now.
Thank you for wiping Mommy's Tears, Desiree Kate...
•••
2am ng nagising ako dahil sa alarm clock ko. This is the day that I'll flight back again to the PH but with my daughter. Bumango na ako at naghanda na 4am dapat nandun na kami sa airport. Nagulat ako ng maaga pang nagising sakin ang mga kasama ko.
"Ang aga nagising ah?" Pang-aasar ko sa kanila.
"Excited na akong bumalik ng pilipinas e." Sabi ni Athena at nakatapis na ng tuwalya para maligo.
After I talked to them ay pinuntahan ko na agad si Desiree sa kwarto niya pero mahimbing pa siyang natutulog. Mamaya ko nalang siya gigising dahil mabilis lang naman siya, tumawag muna ako sa lobby and ask them for a van to sent us to the airport.
"Goodmorning Ms. Velasquez! How can I help you?" Magalang na sabi niya.
"Is there A Van available now?" I asked.
"Yes Miss," sagot naman niya. Thanks god! It's still in the middle of the night, I thought there's no driver available.
"Uh.. Can you please ready the Van around 3am? We'll go to the airport.."
"Okay Miss, Noted. I'll just call you po if the Van's ready.."
"Okay, Thank you!" Then I hang up. Pumasok na ako sa kwarto para maligo na ako, hindi ko naman liligoan si Desiree kaya bibihisan ko lang siya kapag tapos na akong mag-bihis.
•••
"Let's go? Is there something that left?" I asked them. Just to be sure.
"Wala na naman siguro," sabi ni Francheska and I just nod at sumakay na kami sa elevator. Pababa na kami at handa narin ang Van it's already 3:10am.
See you soon Philippines...
____________________________________________
:> ❤️❤️❤️
