Her Moonlight (edited )

33

Kim's p.o.v

"Amy died."

She what?

He pulled me into a hug and broke down

I stood there, hands at my side in utter shock.

This must be a damn late april fools joke.

I look around me, shocked faces and tears.

That's all I saw.

Maybe it's true.

But why

His words came flooding back to me and that's when it hit me, litterally.

My best friend since childhood, for more than most of my life, since kindergarten is fucking dead.

My heart felt like it was ripped out of my body and stomped on.

I hold a straight face and move out his grip.

This made me recieve sad glances from my other friends

"Babe." Ari said coming closer to me, tears running down her face.

I jerk back, nearly falling on my ass then  walk across the street to my old house and lock the door

I grab the first picture frame I could find and fling it on the floor making is smash into pieces

But it must have really been my lucky day because guess who the picture was of?

Me and Amy

"FUCK!" I scream at the top of my lungs, sliding down on the wall and letting out another extremly loud scream, followed by a sob and then some more

I didn't even realise it was morning or that I cried myself to sleep on the floor

Slowly I get off the floor and stand up, walking into the bathroom.

I don't feel anything now

I don't think I have a heart left, the only fraction that's still alive belongs to Ari and if-

Let me stop because I'm literally depressing myself the more I think.

I take a shower and put on some comfortable clother then take up my phone to see if I had messages.

I had a few.

As in a few million.

I have over 5 thousand messages from ari not including the hundreds of voice notes she left me.

I open the phone app and click on Amy's contact.

I call her, hoping somehow she would answer.

Straight to voicemail

Maybe I called just to hear her voice

"if i didnt answer im with my fav girls, dont leave a voicemail "

I break down in tears and throw my phone across the room.

I bury my head in the pillow of Nathan's bed.

I hoped his room would somehow make me feel comfortable but it crushed me even more.

Amy was his ex at a point in time even

So I basically spent the next two days in his room, sobbing, screaming, crying, throwing things when the tears wouldnt fall

I didn't leave the room because one, glass was scattered on every inch of the floor and number two, I just didn't have the energy.

I let out most of my feelings so now I just feel empty. Like I literally have no tears left to cry, for real.

I haven't eaten, not that I'm hungry.

I know Amy would say that I'm over reacting and I should just party but I want her here with me

Deciding that I had cried enough I go into the notes of my phone and start writing.

I ended up writing six songs and one unfinished one before falling asleep with tears in my eyes

I should text someone so they know I'm safe but I think my phone is broken from when I threw it

I was about to gather some energy from god knows where and go outside atleast by Court or Aaron's houses.

Neighbours probably think a maniac lives in here with all the screaming I've been doing

So I was about to get out of bed when the doorknob to the bedroom starts moving.

I figured and kind of hoped here is where I die but no, Courtney and Kylie were at the other side of the door.

Court stared at me in shock, probably because of the floor or how red my eyes were, or the fact that I looked like a racoon.

"Babe." Kylie says stepping on the glass just to reach me.

She got on the bed next to me and stared at me for a second before we both burst into tears, holding onto each other

I didn't even realise Courtney was accompanied by my girlfriend until Kylie fell asleep

"Hi." I say

Court shook her head and Ari punched her before making her way over to me.

"Baby, I am so so sorry." She says wiping her eyes.

"I am sorry for not calling or texting." I say.

"It has just been...hard." I say, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Did you eat?" Ariana asked me on the drive back to her parents house.

Some how Courtney had managed to convince me to leave the house, take a shower and clean up all the different rooms where I had broke something

"I don't remember." I say, looking out the window.

"You-you don't remember if you ate in four days?" my girlfriend asks, staring amusedly yet strictly at me.

"No." I say shrugging my shoulders and slumping down in the car seat.

"Kim, it's so good to see you, just know that we are all here for you" Joan said, pulling me into a hug once we got back to her house

I give her a tight liped smile, which she knows is fake and walk into the house and straight into the room my girlfriend and I were sharing

"I brought some pizza because you will eat something." Ari said closing her room door behind her.

She was downstairs for the past 15 minutes since I came back with her, Court and Kylie.

"I'm not hungry." I mumble, closing my eyes.

"You didn't eat in four days babe please." She begged, getting on the bed next to me.

I frown and turn my body away but she turned my face back and put the pizza in my face

I take a bite which I couldn't swallow for some reason.

The smell of the pizza made me hungry but once it entered my mouth I wanted to throw up and curl up before dying.

"I miss her." I tell Ariana pushing my head further into her neck as my body shook

"I miss her too." she replyed her voice craking.

I can tell this has affected her too but she's staying strong for my sake.

Why can't we just cry together

"I love you." my girlfriend said, rubbing my back as I continued to pour out my sorrows

"I love you too moonlight." I say before crying myself to sleep.

I seem to be doing that an awful lot lately.