Sanditon Season 2: The River and the Man

Chapter 25

Sidney was situated across the carriage from Eliza while Georgiana traveled with Mrs. Griffiths in her own carriage. Mr. Crowe was with Babington so that left Eliza and himself in a dark coach with only the fire of the street laps to sporadically light the interior of their cabin.

"You haven't said anything about how I look," Eliza said with a slight pout. 

He turned and looked at her in the dimness of the carriage. "You always have looked well," he replied honestly. Though he was not interested in her in a romantic sense he could never deny her beauty.

She looked troubled tonight and he found something inside him, long-buried rise in concern. But then he remembered who she was now and he looked back out to the street.

"You would tell me if I look old, wouldn't you?" she asked, her eyes shining.

Looking at her he licked his lips and looked down. "Mrs. Campion, you look your age do you not?" he asked.

Her mouth dropped in horror. "Sidney what an awful thing to say." hurt spread across her face.

He looked away irritated that he had not said the right thing. "What should I say Eliza?" he asked with frustration.

She looked out the opposite window and wiped a tear. "You should have said I look young, fresh...Lovely...anything but 'my age'." she snapped.

He sighed. "Apologies. I meant no offense. You have always shone brightly Eliza." he said trying to smooth her temper. "What has you so worried?" he asked. "You are not your normal self assured self."

She turned sensing concern. "Oh Sidney, this ball is of immense importance for me and my acceptance back into social circles. I almost think it is a grand conspiracy of someone to block me from the best society."

He frowned and studied her. "You have offended many with your opinions Eliza. Do you think you have actually courted a good reception?"

She frowned and looked down. "I have long been far from London and I fear the country is very different where I was. There, I was well respected and greatly admired. But here, I thought my money would grant me entrance and well regard without the trouble of vying for affection." she said reflectively.

Sighing impatiently he cleared his throat. "Eliza your money may bail Tom out, but being cut from the Beau Monde will not do for your fortune," he said seriously. "You must reform your conduct or risk it all on a failed village," he said simply.

"You said you could make it profitable." she accused not seeing his point that her being cut might hurt Sanditon.

He nodded. "I can if people actually wish to go there, but if your society is so insufferable then our fortunes are going to go down as with your standing in society," he said simply.

Had she so little understanding of business and how one should not cut another without just cause? He had once thought Charlotte naive but he realized Eliza was far more ignorant.

Eliza nodded and he noticed tears falling from her face as she wiped them nervously. He was far kinder than he wanted to be but there was little cause for abuse.

Pulling out a handkerchief he handed it to her and she took it obligingly.
"You are right. I am sorry," she whispered. "I will try better."

He looked out the window impatiently. He was desiring of a chance to have distance from her company and the ball was only streets away.

"I have been thinking that we should try better to be friends," she whispered drawing his attention back to her and he frowned.

The idea did not suit him as much as the arrangement discussed in the park before he left for Sanditon.

After a moment he ventured a reply. "I have only ever endeavored for affability," he said his hand on his polished cane. His finger drummed anxiously.

She reached out and put her hand over his.

"There are certain pleasantries we could reacquaint ourselves with, can we not?" she said her eyes still a little wet from her small tears.

He frowned a moment and recalled their youth and stolen kisses at the London balls the year of her debut. They were both but seventeen.

"If you speak of the liberties we took before you broke our engagement, the answer is no," he said stiffly. "If you want such things it will need to wait. We have courted enough scandal with our behavior once already." 

"That is ancient history is it not?" she asked.

He scoffed. "Not so ancient as you would like," he replied.

She took her hand back and laid it on her lap, discouragement radiated from her small form. "But when we are married we could... I think maybe I would like to try," she said seriously.

He tensed his jaw and looked away. "We shall discuss it upon...another day." he said with finality.

She felt slapped.

Sidney looked away and felt his stomach roll in hope that he would get a look at the object of his unrelenting affection. He could not be sure she would be there, but this was the largest ball of the season how could she not be. It would be so crowded he worried he might not find her among the faces.

"Georgiana looks very fine tonight," Eliza said trying to make conversation as they waited their turn to exit on the cobblestone instead of the muddy road. It prevented the filth of London streets to enter the fine palatial London house.

He nodded. "The color orange suits her," he observed as she exited the carriage ahead of theirs. "Like fire," he said simply. "She will burn us all won't she," he said with a smile to his ward as the manservant opened the door. He went out first and held his hand out for Eliza but his head was already scanning the crowd.